Bed sheet ghost likes red sheets most | HumorOutcasts

Bed sheet ghost likes red sheets most

September 29, 2017
By

By The Lunchbox Ghost
Staff Out-To-Lunch Writer

BLACK LAGOON — A bed sheet ghost out haunting last night in the Stench Quarter was caught in a red sheet, not a white one, and the ghost said it was his right to choose.

According to recent studies, more and more bed sheet ghosts are opting for alternatives these days.

“Some bed sheet ghosts are haunting in plaid sheets,” said a representative of the GWDT (Ghosts With Different Tastes) community. “And there’s nothing wrong with bed sheet ghosts of color. They scare with the best of them.”

The Red Sheet Ghost told reporters that he feels more like himself in red.

“White is so bland,” Red said. “I feel like I’m pretending to be something else when I’m scaring in white. The fact that some ghosts are criticizing me for being red is so dephantomizing.”

Red recently sat down with a white sheet ghost who represents Frankenstein’s Monster’s presidential campaign and discussed his dilemma.

“Red is exactly the kind of individual Frankenstein’s Monster represents,” the campaign official said. “I talked with Red for quite some time and let him know that Frankenstein’s Monster had his own issues with being different when he was first created. Angry mobs were always trying to corner him in old mills to burn him down, and they succeeded on a number of occasions, too. Trust me, he knows what it’s like to be different, and he’s ready to fight for those like Red.”

Red said he trusts the Monster and added that he will certainly give him his vote on Tues., Nov. 8 when monsters go to the polls to vote for Transyl-vein-ia president.

“I should be allowed the freedom to be who I am,” Red said. “So, please, stop throwing stuff at me. Underneath, we’re all the same. We’re all just nothing — literally. But none of us are free until we’re all protected.”


This story (actually by Michael Picarella) originally appeared on Oct. 26, 2016, in Jack-o’-Lantern Press, a monster blog for monsters only, from Michael Picarella, his brother, Tom Picarella, and Michael’s son, Robert Picarella. JLP posts monster news and entertainment weekdays between the months of August and October, and occasionally throughout the year.

Michael Picarella

He’s the Twain of the Inane. His work is taken straight from the Inanitarium, a vault of little stories that are literally about nothing, but maybe about everything. Now that you’ve taken a look, it's safe to say this guy is no Twain. He’s even better, right? Michael Picarella is an award-winning writer, amateur family man and expert in fascinations, with a taste for cookies, milk and the American Dream. His book, “Everything Ever After (Confessions of a Family Man),” is a collection of stories you can’t live without from his family humor newspaper column, “Family Men Don’t Wear Name Brands.” Additionally, Picarella is the publisher, content manager and writer of Jack-o’-Lantern Press, a monster blog for monsters only, at www.JackOLanternPress.com, and he’s also the filmmaker behind two feature-length tales of suburban noir you’ve never seen. Picarella is a homeowner living in the outskirts of Los Angeles. He battles armies of domestic gremlins with his wife, son and their pet beagle on a daily basis. Most of their life is made up of small, inane events and manias, which they call their "everything ever after." So how about a break from the BIG, the LOUD, the EXTRAORDINARY and the AMAZING? For more information and ways to connect, go to www.MichaelPicarella.com.

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2 Responses to Bed sheet ghost likes red sheets most

  1. September 30, 2017 at 7:43 am

    maybe because the ghost’s most important moment is Halloween and that comes after Labor Day and so white is out?

  2. September 30, 2017 at 4:02 am

    Gee, I thought ghosts had passed beyond that!



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