Checking Out Love At The Library

I’m 62 and newly single. How to find Mr. Right? “That’s easy!“ I’m told. “You work at a library. There’s nothing sexier than a man who reads. You’ll have your pick of terrific guys!”

The author of a recent article about how to find a date agrees. The piece contains this tip: “Go to the public library and cruise the shelves for smart singles.”

Is this really good advice? I logged onto Facebook and asked my fellow librarians: Is your library a good place to look for love?

The first comment I got wasn’t encouraging:

Let’s see. When it comes to our regulars, I can choose from Alcoholic Homeless Guy, Ranting Political Guy, Porn Viewing Guy or Russian Mail Order Bride Guy. No thanks.

But the next response was more upbeat:

I definitely recommend looking for love at the library. It’s where I met my husband!

Over next day, I received dozens of comments expressing a range of opinions.

For many librarians, the answer to the question “Should I look for love at my local public library?” was a resounding “Hell, no!”

Yeah, I’d really want to hook up with our Conspiracy Theorist. Or the sicko who poops in our potted plants.

The Uber-Religious-Witnessing Guy is the big catch at our library!

We’ve got a great “fixer-upper.’’ He’s here all day and he’s  handsome and he reads a lot… but he lives in a van in our parking lot.

Finding romance? Right. Great idea. Just go up to random people and ask “What are you reading?” Because there’s nothing I love more than having my reading interrupted to talk to a stranger about it.

Sadly, my library is a better place to find your next hit than be hit on.

In an ideal world, you’d meet fellow intellectuals at the library. In the real world? You’re more likely to meet a guy who’ll warn you that the Martian spaceships are about to land.

Other librarians felt that library love, if not a sure thing, was at least a possibility:

I’d never come here looking for love. But if you’re at the library and you happen to see someone attractive reading a book you love…? That’s not a bad conversation-starter.

You could find love here if you attended our lectures and readings and book clubs. Participating in a program that you’re interested in is a good way to meet like-minded people.

There have been no matches made yet between library staff and patrons, but our single librarians remain hopeful. When a cute guy comes in, we’ve been known to check his account to see if he’s married or available.

Other librarians were totally in favor of finding love at the library:

Judging by the hetero couples who duck into the men’s room together, some folks are definitely finding romance here. (If romance is the right word for it…)

I met my husband while working at the front desk. The book he wanted wasn’t available, so I picked up a paperback copy at a used bookstore and added it to our collection, then phoned him and told him he could come in and pick it up. He ended up picking me up too. We’ve been together 25 years.

But? Proceed with caution.

A young woman recently came in to use one of our computers. The minute I saw her, I knew she would be hassled by some of our resident Casanovas. Sure enough, within minutes there was a steady stream of guys walking by, acting like sharks at feeding time. When she asked me for help with the job application she was working on, I took the opportunity to ask if any of the guys had been harassing her, to which she replied, “Yeah, they’re all trying to get a piece of this. If they only knew I just got out of jail for stabbing my ex.”

In conclusion? Although nothing is certain, it’s entirely possible to find love at the library. (And if you‘re a good-hearted, bookish, 60ish guy, let me encourage you to visit mine.)

Even if you don’t leave with a date, you’ll never have to go home alone. You can always take home The Girl On The Train, Madame Bovary, or Alexander Hamilton.

Just make sure to be on your best behavior, because while you’re checking that book out, we just might be checking you out.

(Roz Warren   is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: LIBRARY HUMOR and the curator of the LIBRARY LAUGHS Facebook page.  This piece first appeared on Zestnow.)

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