Runners and Family Holiday Gatherings | HumorOutcasts

Runners and Family Holiday Gatherings

December 15, 2017
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Well, it’s Holiday time once again and the inevitable family get-togethers. Don’t get me wrong, they can be fun and enjoyable but, for us runners it can be challenging. While a marathon will test our endurance and a 5K will test our speed, these family gatherings can test our patience, especially by the non runners who are convinced we are certifiably crazy.

Mom: Oh honey you’re so thin. You need to put some weight on. Have some mashed potatoes and gravy!

What you’re thinking: Yeah, right, it took me 4 months to get down to my goal running weight and now you want to fatten me up!

What you say: Thanks Mom, I’ll take some leftovers home with me.

*****

Uncle Bob: What do you do in the winter time? It’s too cold to run outside. You don’t really run outside do you?

What you’re thinking: They make things called hats and gloves you know.

What you say: Yes.

******

Grandma Sylvia: You ran another race? You shouldn’t run, you’ll ruin your knees!

What you’re thinking: This from someone who uses a walker and never walked further than from the front door to the mailbox and back.

What you say: Thanks Grandma, I’ll keep that in mind.

******

Old Cousin Sal: So you ran a 10K that’s like what 10 miles or so? It must be pretty painful to run that far.

What you’re thinking: No it’s 6.2 miles. Have you never heard of the metric system?

What you say: Yep, just a glutton for punishment.

*****

Next door neighbor: I see you out there every day. I could never do that, I’d run out of things to think about.

What you’re thinking: Yet, you never run out of things to say, do you?

What you say: You’re such a deep thinker, no way.

*****

Brother in law Harry: I’ve heard that runners get hurt and are in pain.

What you’re thinking: This from a guy who’s a hypochondriac and visits the doctor one a week.

What you say: Yep, this sports not for everyone.

*****

And do it goes!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Roger Hollis

Air Force veteran, veteran of 30+ years in the corporate world. Published in Medical Devices magazine. Illustrator for recently published "1000 Ways in 1000 Days" available on Amazon. Long time runner. Author of "Running Log" due out in November.

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