According to an article in The Gothamist, a group of people plan to perform an exorcism of the AT&T Building in Tribeca, in the Borough of Manhattan, New York City. They believe that the NSA controls several floors in this building and uses them to spy on people. They don’t like that and they hope an exorcism will get rid of any nasty vibrations in there.
I don’t know what they hope to accomplish aside from attracting attention, but if there are any evil spirits in there I hope they get them out. We don’t want to encourage evil spirits to come and live in Manhattan. They are not good neighbors. They shake things, make noise, possess people and scare the stuffing out of everyone.
This got me thinking. What else could use a good exorcism?
The No. 1, too obvious choice is the U.S. Government. Levitating Donald Trump and his cronies and sending them all to a deserted South Sea Island would never work, however. They’d just find some conservative islander with a boat and come back. It’s best just to vote Republicans out of Congress.
A better candidate for exorcism would be dog poop on the sidewalks. Getting the demons out of dog poop shouldn’t be too hard. Getting the poop to disappear might be more difficult.
Those slush puddles that form on street corners after every snowstorm should be bound and sent packing. Those things are evil.
The loudspeakers on every Mr. Softee Ice Cream truck must be exorcised before summer arrives. That little tinkly tune they play over and over is demon music designed to destroy every brain cell it encounters.
What would be your choice?