What Airline? | HumorOutcasts

What Airline?

September 25, 2017

Fly Me!


You know you’re old when you go to the airport and you don’t even recognize the names of the airlines anymore.  What the heck happened to Braniff and TWA?  While trying to find an arrival flight to pick up a relative, I saw all kinds of airlines that I’ve never even heard of before.  There was some airline called Open Skies, another called Compass Air, and there were more.  I saw Envoy Air, Horizon Air, PSA Air, Republic Air, and Air-Sunshine.

I don’t know about you, but as for me, I certainly hope the skies are open to any plane I board, and I would’ve assumed they all had a compass.  I really don’t plan on flying any envoys.  I think that’s just a terrorist attack waiting to happen.  I’m hoping any plane I get on can at least make it to the horizon.  I guess PSA Air is either just for men so they can check their prostate’s or maybe it’s just a cheaper airline because they save money by constantly airing public service announcements.  I’m also guessing that Republic Air doesn’t want me because I’m a democrat, but I would like to fly Air-Sunshine since I’m assuming that they’ll only take me into the air when there’s sunshine.  This sounds like the safest airline to me.

Now I can tell you that I have heard of American Airlines and Virgin Atlantic.  I am an American, so I believe they’ll let me fly on that Airline, but as for Virgin Atlantic, well I don’t think I’ll be flying on that one for obvious reasons!

Leslie Handler

Leslie is an internationally syndicated columnist for Senior Wire and a 2015 Society of Newspaper Columnists award winner. She is a frequent contributor to WHYY's Newsworks, has written for The Philadelphia Inquirer, ZestNow, and Boomercafe, as well as blogs for The Huffington Post. She has a Bachelor of Journalism degree and currently lives smack dab between Philadelphia and New York City with husband Marty, dogs Maggie, Hazel, and Ginger, a collection of fish, said husband's cockatoo who she's been trying to roast for dinner for the last 31 years, and a few occasional uninvited guests. You may follow her blog and read published essays at: LeslieGoesBoom.com. Her first book, a collection of essays, publishes by HO/Shorehouse Press Spring, 2018.

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4 Responses to What Airline?

  1. Roger Hollis
    September 29, 2017 at 8:47 am

    Can a divorced couple still fly on United Airlines since they are no longer united?

  2. September 28, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    I don’t know about Virgin Airlines, either. Do you have to be dressed in white in order to board the plane?

  3. September 27, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    I would worry about an airline named compass. Is that what they use for navigation? I think they are behind the times!

  4. September 27, 2017 at 2:24 am

    The only airline I’ve flown on in my adult life was Southwest — which I took to go northeast.

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