Corporate Naming Rights for Great Works of Literature | HumorOutcasts

Corporate Naming Rights for Great Works of Literature

January 27, 2018

Corporate Naming Rights for Great Works of Literature

National Parks, sports venues, you name it — a corporation has its name on it. So, c’mon, stuffy world of literature, get off your high horse, and cash in with the corporate naming rights craze:

Tinder is the Night – F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Johnny Walker Red and the Johnny Walker Black – Stendahl

Moby Dick’s Sporting Goods Whale of a Sale – Herman Melville

Henderson the Rain King of Mattress Sales (Specially ½ Price Deals for Labor Day) – Saul Bellow

The Lord of the Burger King Onion Rings – JRR Tolkien

One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest Flying Southwest Airlines – Ken Kesey

All Quiet on the Western Front So Get A Netflix and Chill – Erich Maria Remarque

The Sun Also Rises Be Prepared with Coppertone – Ernest Hemingway

The Big Sleep On A Sealy Posturepedic Mattress – Raymond Chandler

Gulliver’s Travels Booked by – Jonathan Swift

The Sherwin-Williams Painted House of Mirth – Edith Wharton

Full Metal Jacket and Pants from Men’s Warehouse – Michael Herr

One Hundred Years of Solitude Or Go To – Gabriel García Márquez

The Golden Microsoft Notebook – Doris Lessing

Lolita, The Original ‘To Catch a Predator’ as Seen on Friday nights on MSNBC – Vladimir Nabokov

Lonesome Dove Bars – Larry McMurtry

The Farmer John’s Dodger Dogs of War – Frederick Forsyth

The Jose Cuervo Goldfinch – Donna Tartt

A Room with a View at a Marriot – E.M Forster

A Clockwork Orange Julius – Anthony Burgess

The Del Monte Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck

Paul Lander

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Nobel Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa’s indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has worked as a writer and/or producer for shows on ABC, NBC, Showtime, The Disney Channel, ABC Family, VH1, LOGO and Lifetime. In addition, he’s written standup material that’s been performed on “Fallon,” "Maher" “Letterman,” “Conan” and “Last Comic Standing.” His humor pieces have been accepted at American Bystander, McSweeney‘s, The New Yorker, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Santa Fe Writers Project Journal and Humor Times. He has won awards from the National Soc. of Newspaper Columnists, London's Blogger's Bash and Univ. of Dayton's Bombeck Workshop. Now, on to Paul’s time commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…

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One Response to Corporate Naming Rights for Great Works of Literature

  1. January 29, 2018 at 12:12 pm

    Good stuff!

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