Corporate Naming Rights for Great Works of Literature
National Parks, sports venues, you name it — a corporation has its name on it. So, c’mon, stuffy world of literature, get off your high horse, and cash in with the corporate naming rights craze:
Tinder is the Night – F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Johnny Walker Red and the Johnny Walker Black – Stendahl
Moby Dick’s Sporting Goods Whale of a Sale – Herman Melville
Henderson the Rain King of Mattress Sales (Specially ½ Price Deals for Labor Day) – Saul Bellow
The Lord of the Burger King Onion Rings – JRR Tolkien
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest Flying Southwest Airlines – Ken Kesey
All Quiet on the Western Front So Get A Netflix and Chill – Erich Maria Remarque
The Sun Also Rises Be Prepared with Coppertone – Ernest Hemingway
The Big Sleep On A Sealy Posturepedic Mattress – Raymond Chandler
Gulliver’s Travels Booked by Travelocity.com – Jonathan Swift
The Sherwin-Williams Painted House of Mirth – Edith Wharton
Full Metal Jacket and Pants from Men’s Warehouse – Michael Herr
One Hundred Years of Solitude Or Go To Match.com – Gabriel García Márquez
The Golden Microsoft Notebook – Doris Lessing
Lolita, The Original ‘To Catch a Predator’ as Seen on Friday nights on MSNBC – Vladimir Nabokov
Lonesome Dove Bars – Larry McMurtry
The Farmer John’s Dodger Dogs of War – Frederick Forsyth
The Jose Cuervo Goldfinch – Donna Tartt
A Room with a View at a Marriot – E.M Forster
A Clockwork Orange Julius – Anthony Burgess
The Del Monte Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
Good stuff!