Today I am grateful I didn’t pull a muscle. . .watching American Ninja Warriors! I’m serious. I can’t watch the show and stay still. When they are jumping I pop up a little in my chair. When they are swinging to reach another ring, I’m swaying back and forth, hefting myself when they finally let go. When they splash down, I feel it.
You could set a raging fire under a rope and I’d burn like Hester because no way can I now, or have I ever been able to climb a rope. Not in high school gym class, nor now. It really hasn’t come up much, either. Sort of like conjugating sentences.
Himself and I got to talking about what our obstacle course would look like. Instead of the young and buff we are the old and fluffy. We figure the only thing we have down perfectly is the grunts and groans. Here’s our course. . .
- Getting out of bed in the dark, in the middle of the night, hoping to make it to the bathroom on time without bashing a shin and/or waking the other person.
- Climbing the steps to the upstairs or basement without tripping.
- Me – getting out of my recliner in a hurry when someone rings the doorbell.
- Himself – picking something up off the floor.
- Getting off the toilet when your legs fall asleep.
- Putting Tupperware away. (Himself refuses to “go in there” anymore.)
- Going to a playground with a two-year-old.
- Getting a frying pan out of the cabinet that has too much crap in it.
- Catching falling spices. You need quick reflexes in our kitchen.
- Leaping over the buckling carpet in a single bound.
- Opening the outdoor umbrella.
- Tearing that annoying little top off of a plastic medicine bottle that has a “tab” but needs a machete to remove.
- Opening a hermetically sealed snack. (See above machete comment)
- Himself climbing the ladder to change the smoke detector batteries while I “hold” it. (The ladderJ)
- Believing we hear the ringing the bell as winners and then realizing it’s just a whistling hearing aid.
That’s what we came up with. Feel free to add to our list or create your own. Just don’t pull a muscle in the process!
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