Leonard Back! | HumorOutcasts

Leonard Back!

March 8, 2018
By

Leonard here.  Remember me?  Today I am grateful to be back at the old folk’s house.  The prison sentence isn’t as long this time so I think I can endure.  I actually was kinda glad to see them.  Who doesn’t like a field trip every now and then and even those chickens at home can get on a dog’s nerves after a while.

 

So I leap out of the car, dash to the house without even bothering to pee because who needs to pee when someone inside is happy to scratch your head?  I allow that for a few minutes, nearly knocking that old man over, then lumber through the rest of the house.  Gotta check everything out, you know!

 

“Wait!  Who’s that?”  I stop dead in my tracks, leaving skid marks (from my feet) on the carpet.  I turn tail.  “Mom!  Don’t leave me yet!  There is something strange going on here!”  I run back to get her.  She and dad follow me back to the spot that freaked me out.  “See!  It’s dead!  They killed it and stuffed the head, but threw the body away!  Get me outta here!”  I was jumping around and hiding behind them.  I’d take the stupid chickens over this weirdo any day.

 

They laughed.  All of them.  See the respect I get here?  (none) Mom grabs that odd beast and tries to tell me it’s just a pillow, but I’m not having it.  Poor guy.  How many times did he have to do something bad to end up like this?

 

I’m going to be on my best behavior this visit.  I don’t want to become another freaky pillow on the old folk’s couch.  Wish me luck!

 

Mary Mooney

From cranking hair in my Midwestern town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to eastern Pennsylvania, to three years writing for large hotels in Jakarta, Indonesia, humor has been my constant.

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One Response to Leonard Back!

  1. March 12, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Hmmm….your pet will need pet therapy!



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