Wonder Woman Interviews for a Job | HumorOutcasts

Wonder Woman Interviews for a Job

May 18, 2018
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Writing Prompt:

You are a superhero (or a monster) at a job interview. How do you answer the following questions:

Tell me something about yourself.
What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Why do you want to work for this company?
What salary range are you looking for?
Do you have any questions?
========================================

Tell me something about yourself.

Well, my name is Diana, but my friends call me Wonder Woman. I grew up on a Greek island with other Amazons. Fortunately, sometime back in the Middle Ages they gave up the practice of burning off their rights breasts, so I’m happy to say that I have all my female equipment. I only saw two men when I was growing up: a rich Greek and a rich Italian from shipwrecked yachts. I wasn’t impressed. I was curious, though. I wanted to see what it was about them that made them different from women. My Mom caught me trying to sneak up on one of them at the fountain where he was bathing. She put a blindfold on me and hustled me away from there. She said she’d answer any questions I had about men. She never did, though. Her face just got red, and she told me I was too young. I had to get all my answers from an old copy of Playgirl Magazine that had been washed ashore in a suitcase.

What are your strengths?

Give me a sword, a spear, a lariat, and a shield, and I can pulverize half an army. I can jump out of windows and across anything without getting my clothes dirty. By the way, I look great in a tight-fitting bustier with a teeny tiny bit of cloth on the bottom. I have nice legs.

What are your weaknesses?

You know that Betty Crocker frosting that comes in a can? I can’t resist it, especially the strawberry one.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I’ll be wherever the world is in danger of annihilation, vanquishing our enemies. Or maybe I’ll be leading a knitting circle at my local senior center. We never know, right? Che sarà sarà, as they say.

Why do you want to work for this company?

I need the money. Do you know how much expense is involved in being a superhero? The dry cleaning costs alone are astronomical! And nobody ever wants to pay to have the world saved. Everyone thinks you should do it for free. I don’t make much money for doing what I like to do. And everyone wants money from ME. I have to pay an agent, a publicist, a chauffeur … I’m lucky if I come out even.

What salary range are you looking for?

Something in the mid-seven figures would be okay with me. I deserve it.

Do you have any questions?

No. I thought you would just ask ME questions! Everyone else does.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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4 Responses to Wonder Woman Interviews for a Job

  1. Bill Spencer
    May 21, 2018 at 6:24 am

    Wonderful.

  2. Bill Y "The Legendary Legend" Ledden
    May 20, 2018 at 7:02 am

    I’d give her the job.

    • May 21, 2018 at 5:36 am

      I’m sure that costume gets her everything she wants. If not, she can always rely on her Amazon training. 😀



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