The coronavirus outbreak is a serious, deadly thing, and it should be taken seriously. All the more reason to have fun with it … because if you can’t laugh, the virus has already won.
So this is sung to the tune, naturally, of Don’t Stand So Close to Me, by the Police. Fire up your karaoke machine:
They’re sneezing, in public
People stay clear of me
They’re coughing so badly
Know where I want to be
Inside there’s no virus
Feels like I’m in a cage
Book reading, show watching
My kids here make me age
Don’t stand so, don’t stand so
Don’t stand so close to me
That virus ain’t stopping
I’m social distancing
Get calls from the fellas
They haven’t got it yet
They think it won’t get them
I wouldn’t make that bet
Outside is, temptation
But it could make us die
I’m out of crap paper
Newsprint won’t get me dry
Don’t stand so, don’t stand so
Don’t cough so close to me
Don’t sneeze so, don’t breath so
Don’t be so close to me
Washing for so long now
Perfecting elbow bumps
Don’t blow your crap on me
Stay home and take your lumps
It’s no use, this virus
Will make me sweat and cough
You might be infected
I’m begging you, back off
Don’t sweat so close to me
Please … don’t spread so close to me …
Quiet… The Police are running a Sting operation.
That’s just what they want us to think!
Oh man! You gave me an ear worm. I’m going to be humming that song for the rest of the day.
That was my plan all along!