The Sex Workers Union of North America (SWUNA) held a press conference today to formally protest the cancellation of the Republican National Convention (RNC) in August.
“Every four years, the Republican convention generates an enormous amount of revenue for our membership,” says P. L., SWUNA’s Communications Director. “Our members can make more in four days at the RNC than they can in six months during the rest of the year. For example, without that convention income I won’t be able to send my two kids to private school this fall. You can’t pay the tuition at St. Sebastian’s Elementary with prayers, you know. This is just another example of Republicans thumbing their nose at the working class.”
But isn’t SWANU also upset with the Democrats, whose 2020 convention has gone virtual as well?
“We won’t lose nearly as much money as a result of the Democrats’ decision. It’s all about turnover. Servicing Democrats takes FOREVER! They talk and talk and talk. They want to chat you up about universal, single-payer health insurance….and reforming public education…and working for social justice….and on and on and on. They just NEVER shut up. When time is of the essence, this is a revenue-killer.
“Republicans, on the other hand, hardly talk at all. Occasionally, a delegate from Texas might scream ‘YEE-HAW’ while you’re together, but that’s pretty much it. The fireworks, such as they are, are over in less than a minute. It’s a financial bonanza! Now that’s a stimulus package that really gets the job done!
“Please, Mr. President, reconsider this decision. Our nation’s economy is at stake!”