How To Be Stupid
….and use it to your advantage.
Being stupid can have its definite positive aspects. In the right hands it can be a wonderful tool for finding that peace of mind, that satisfaction with life and, even, that extra bit of financial support you have always longed for. Here are the advantages that can be found with being stupid:
No one expects anything of you.
It’s great for avoiding responsibility- “He’s too stupid to do it!”
It makes life much simpler- no complex decisions or ideas to roam around your brain causing stress and trouble.
It is a great tool for avoiding people you don’t want to have anything to do with anyway.
How to use being stupid to better your life:
A. Always give dumb answers or say “I don’t know” when people ask you questions. Soon they will learn and leave you alone in peace.
B. When at work always make little mistakes. The manager will yell but at the same time he’ll realize that you are too simple-minded to ask for more pay or to be a threat to him.
C. Go ahead and make some minor driving and civil offenses. You’ll get small fines but the police will eventually realize that you can’t be capable of any serious crimes because of being a moron and will leave you alone.
- Make as much of an ass of yourself with women as you want. Most will reject you but there will always be a pair who hang around because they figure you’re always better and safer than the other arrogant jerks around. For women making asses of themselves with men for you the same is true in reverse except that the men will be more protective of you but on the downside you will become very popular in people’s Facebook photos.
E. Wear clothes that are two sizes too big. People will take pity on you, think that you are starving and take pity and give you food. Or give you their hand-me-downs.
F. Walk around with a goofy smile on your face. People will have a tendency to think you are brain damaged or harmless and be friendly to you.
- Jabber constantly when you are alone, especially at night. It scares the thieves away.
H. Sitting on park benches with a vacant look in your eyes and drooling will make people leave you alone and you’ll have the area to yourself. On the other hand, having a sign in your hands that says ‘Homeless’ or ‘Alone in this world’ with a bowl in front of you might make you some money.
Are you understanding these tidbits of wisdom? If not you might not need this article; you are already thick enough to know these things anyway. It could be that you have a natural talent for it!