In a secret meeting facilitated by U. S. Secretary of State Anthony Blinken late Sunday night in Kabul, representatives of the Taliban and the Afghan government attempted to employ the game “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to determine the winner of the war in Afghanistan.
Things did not work out.
When the time came to display hands, Taliban leader Hibatullah Akhundzada pulled a rock from his pocket and started pounding the forehead of Afghan President Ashraf Ghani, just as Ghani was endeavoring to neuter Akhundzada with a pair of pinking shears.
Blinken immediately called a halt to the proceedings and reviewed the rules of the contest with the participants. A second round of RPS will take place in late spring, after Ghani and Akhundzada recover from their wounds.
“Next time, we’ll definitely do a thorough robe search before getting under way,” asserted Blinken.
Thank goodness they didn’t try horseshoes, or darts.