In an executive decision yesterday that almost certainly will end up being debated in front of the U. S. Supreme Court, Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson jettisoned Critical Rice Theory from the curricula of every public educational institution in the state.
Critical Rice Theory, which holds that white rice is toxic and brown rice is nutritious, is, in Hutchinson’s words, “wreaking havoc in our educational system, resulting in highly destructive and wasteful food fights in school cafeterias throughout our great state. This madness must stop. No one should feel guilty about consuming white rice. My parents ate it, their parents ate it — heck, every one of my ancestors ate it — going all the way back to the very first Hutchinson pilgrims who landed at Little Rock in 1620. This is our heritage, and it will not be forsaken on my watch.”