I drank one ounce of this bad boy.
1) Got up.
2) Got out of bed.
3) Dragged a comb across my head.
4) Became inspired to write a really great song.
5) Realized the Beatles had beaten me to publishing the song. Missed it by that much.
6) Showered.
7) Dressed. It’s cold out there.
8) Tried to double my savings by thinking it about really hard.
9) My mental telepathy failed me there.
10) Thought really, really hard about stopping the meteor, Bacon123ka, from hitting the Earth.
11) My mental force field obliterated the comet. Woo hoo, I saved the world!
12) But no one knows I did it. Ah well, such is life.
13) Went to eye therapy.
14) Came back.
15) Ordered something to help me with the Great Latch Hook Project.
16) I walked 500 miles.
17) And I walked 500 more just to be the guy who’d walk 1,000 to get to your front door.
18) But you weren’t home. Bummer. And I walked 500 miles and I walked 500 more just to get back to my front door.
19) My feet are sore.
16) Made beer-sourdough bread.
17) I had one-ounce of near left over after the bread recipe, so I chugged it down just to drown my sorrows.
18) Dinner is next.
Behave yourselves.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback
Maybe you could write a preparing for bed song?