Secretary of Diet Coke acquisitions: Well that’s that then. I can’t believe we only have one box of Diet Coke left.
Under Secretary of Diet Coke acquisitions: What if we get Karoline Leavitt to tell the media that President Forever Trump imposed tariffs on Diet Coke and because of this, there are now 15 cans per box instead of 12?
Secretary of Diet Coke acquisitions: That might just work but we still only have an extra 3000% more cans left because of the tariffs. Where can we get more Diet Coke?
Under Secretary of Diet Coke acquisitions: What if we feed him Diet Pepsi instead?
Secretary of Diet Coke acquisitions: Why do you think your predecessor was fired?
I guess we’ll now be increasing our carbonation footprint.
With great gas comes great fizzponsibility.