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13 May, 2026
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“We changed the Terms & Conditions of the Trump Mobile Phone from “Made in the USA” to “Made up in the USA” and “refundable deposit” to “Later, losers.” This happened due to an unforeseen arrangement of words and is Biden’s fault. Instead of Siri, you get Stephen Miller and you can only text in CAPS. It also comes with 12 free pardons and “Biden’s Fault” wallpapers and ringtones.” – Donald Trump, maybe…
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Author: Con Chapman

I'm a Boston-area writer, author of The Year of the Gerbil, a history of the 1978 Red Sox-Yankees pennant race, and 50 books of humor including "Scooter & Skipper Blow Things Up!" by HumorOutcasts Press. My work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor and The Boston Globe among print outlets. "Rabbit's Blues," my biography of Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington's long-time alto sax player, was published by Oxford University Press in 2019, and was named Book of the Year by Hot Club de France. My young adult novel, "Kimiko Chou, Girl Samurai," was published by Atmosphere Press in 2021.

Thoughts on High Culture: Opening Night at the Ballet

November 3, 2014 Con Chapman

This week, as every Boston school boy knows, marks the beginning of a new season at the Boston Ballet, and the conclusion of the 50th anniversary of its founding! New dancers have joined the corps […]

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Fiction

The Young and the Actuarial

November 3, 2014 Con Chapman

Another Saturday night, sitting alone, waiting for him to call.  I know it’s only 1/52 of the Saturday nights in each fiscal year but still–why does he treat me this way? “You’ve been ‘neglecting our […]

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Fiction

A Wasp’s Life

November 2, 2014November 2, 2014 Con Chapman

In some African traditions, the wasp is a symbol of control over our life circumstances. Symbolic messages the wasp sends us: Are all my affairs in order? Am I aligning myself with my goals? Am […]

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1 CommentFiction

Leftover Halloween Candy Brings Hope to Freedonia

November 1, 2014 Con Chapman

DOS FLEDAN, Freedonia. An American C-17 Globemaster cargo plane touched down on a bombed-out landing strip here today with the first shipment of leftover Halloween candy from the U.S., bringing sustenance to a nation that […]

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2 CommentsFiction

A Happy Rhythm ‘n Blues Halloween to You

October 31, 2014 Con Chapman

As I walk down the streets of my neighborhood and look at the Halloween displays that decorate the lawns and porches, I’m struck by how trite and predictable everything appears.  Tombstones angled crookedly out of […]

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Against Odds, Kids Resist Healthy Treats on Halloween

October 30, 2014 Con Chapman

WELLESLEY FALLS, Massachusetts. Janet Disalvo is, by her own admission, an unreformed hippie. The mother of three lets the grass in her front yard grow wild, creating a sharp contrast with the well-manicured lawns of […]

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Fiction

New Program Teams Bluetooth Yakkers With the Demented

October 30, 2014 Con Chapman

BOSTON.  Ted Wyzinski is a familiar sight to those who work in the South Station area here, his grizzled visage a reminder that in the race of life there are both winners and losers.  “I […]

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Fred Nietzsche, C.P.A.

October 29, 2014 Con Chapman

That which does not kill me, makes me stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888   That which does not kill you only makes you stronger, PricewaterhouseCoopers ad   You think it’s easy being an […]

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Fiction

Your Work-Life Advisor

October 28, 2014 Con Chapman

Balancing your life and your work can be difficult.  If you don’t work, you won’t eat, in which case you will die and won’t have any life!  On the other hand, you can work so much you […]

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2 CommentsFiction

The Rhino’s Got to Go

October 27, 2014 Con Chapman

Director John Huston’s third wife gave him an ultimatum after his pet chimpanzee smashed her perfume bottles and defecated in her dresser drawers; he had to choose between her and the chimp. Huston chose the […]

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