Kathy’s Points to Remember: New York City Tourist Edition | HumorOutcasts

Kathy’s Points to Remember: New York City Tourist Edition

June 16, 2012
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1. If you take up the entire width of a sidewalk in order to photograph your fellow travelers, local people will cross right in front of your camera, giving you a free lesson in some colorful gestures and expressions.

2 For a memorable experience, crowd onto a New York City subway in the middle of rush hour, toting backpacks, camera cases and luggage on a stick. Babble as loudly as possible in your own language, laugh and squiggle around so that you are jostling people and block one or two doors and aisles. Some of the locals among the passengers might not appreciate your brand of exhuberance. In that case, we recommend that you practice using your gear as a shield and that you have a plan of quick escape.

3. While we’re on the subject of dress: don’t wear flip flops in Manhattan in July. The heat from the asphalt will turn your shoes to toasted marshmallows. Your feet will remind you of this experience for some time to come. Oh, and this will also brand you as a tourist, because New Yorkers know better than to wear flip flops in Manhattan in July.

4. You will never lack for tee shirts, overpriced electronics, miniature Statues of Liberty, and all kinds of souvenirs, along with plenty of friendly people eager to sell them to you.

5. If you stiff the wait staff in a restaurant on the tip, it will not be safe for you to show your face in that place again. Waiters have long memories.

Kathy Minicozzi

I am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer and I live somewhere in New York City. In other words, I'm weird, but harmless.

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2 Responses to Kathy’s Points to Remember: New York City Tourist Edition

  1. June 16, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Ah I’m so happy that your points to remember are back. The knowledge I’ve acquired from these, easily eclipse the knowledge I learned in college. Hey, you should become a college and teach this stuff yourself. I’ll enroll straight away.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      June 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      I always aim to serve. After all, I am a Pisces.



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