Hunting Mushrooms | HumorOutcasts

Hunting Mushrooms

May 6, 2017
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I went out hunting mushrooms, a spore-t even I could succeed at.

Kidding–I just stumbled across them by happy accident. (Literally stumbled across them, in one case.)

I hate regular mushrooms. They taste like a 50s horror movie. Still, I must admit that finding edible ones in the wild made my interest … well … mushroom a bit. And who doesn’t want to have a little fun-gus in their life?

So, at my wife’s urging (okay, she made me), I tried one. She fried it up, with a little butter, much the way I like everything cooked except for chocolate. (I like my chocolate covered with a nice thick layer of more chocolate.)

It tasted like pork. I’m not kidding. Unlike mushrooms I’ve tried in the past, which taste much like unripe raw rubber, these are much Morel tasty. (Now I’m wondering what raw rubber really tastes like.)  It’s not a food I’d want every day, but it just goes to show you … sometimes it’s worth giving something new a try.

Before you ask, I was assured by the property owner that if I identified where I found these Morels, I’d end up pushing them up myself.

Mark R Hunter

Mark R Hunter is the author of three romantic comedies: Radio Red, Storm Chaser, and its sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant, as well as a related story collection, Storm Chaser Shorts. He also wrote a young adult adventure, The No-Campfire Girls, and a humor collection, Slightly Off the Mark. In addition, he collaborated with his wife, Emily, on the history books Images of America: Albion and Noble County, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So With The Albion Fire Department, and Hoosier Hysterical. Mark’s work also appeared in the anthologies My Funny Valentine and Strange Portals: Ink Slingers’ Fantasy/Horror Anthology. For two decades Mark R Hunter has been an emergency dispatcher for the Noble County Sheriff Department. He’s served over 32 years as a volunteer for the Albion Fire Department, holding such positions as safety officer, training officer, secretary, and public information officer. He also has done public relations writing for the Noble County Relay For Life, among other organizations, and served two terms on the Albion Town Council. When asked if he has any free time, he laughs hysterically. Mark lives in Albion, Indiana, with his wife and editor Emily, a cowardly ball python named Lucius, and a loving, scary dog named Beowulf. He has two daughters and twin grandsons, and so naturally is considering writing a children’s book.

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4 Responses to Hunting Mushrooms

  1. May 7, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    We call them “dry land fish” in Kentucky

    • May 8, 2017 at 6:35 am

      That’s probably a better name than “mushrooms”, since they don’t taste like mushrooms at all. My family comes from Kentucky — I wonder if I ever stumbled across Morels while tromping across the hills as a kid, without realizing what they were?

  2. May 7, 2017 at 9:32 am

    The family of the drummer in my high school band used to do a big spring mushroom hunt (this was in Missouri), then fry them in butter and eat them. Struck me as positively weird.

    • May 8, 2017 at 6:39 am

      It does strike me as weird — or it did until I tasted them fried in butter. My wife is also from Missouri, but never tasted Morels until this incident.



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