Putting the ‘Pause’ in Menopause | HumorOutcasts

Putting the ‘Pause’ in Menopause

May 21, 2011

Mother nature has a wicked sense of humor.  And no, I’m not talking about the weather.

When she came up with the idea of menopause for women, she clearly had men in mind and was obviously looking for a good laugh.  After all, why else would she create mood swings the size of Texas.

Any man in a relationship with a woman who is or has experienced menopause knows exactly what I’m talking about.  There is no defense to this strange phenomenon, and like a tornado, no man can outrun it.

After many painful lessons, I have come to realize that there is only one way for a man to handle a woman under these conditions.  The pause.

When she changes her mind for the umteenth time about something, I pause and agree with her.  When she apologizes for dinner not tasting right, I pause and tell her it tastes great.  When she complains about her weight, I pause and tell her she looks fantastic.  When she picks a fight about the smallest  most inconsequential thing, I pause and ask how I can make it better.  When she says “not tonight, I don’t feel well”, I pause and…..I pause…….and I…….Okay where was I?  Oh yeah……I pause and tell her it’s okay.

Yep, when mother nature needs a good laugh, all she needs to do is take a peek into my house.  She’ll see plenty of pauses.




Husband, dad, grandfather. Photographer, writer, major leagues wannabe. Phillies fan!

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6 Responses to Putting the ‘Pause’ in Menopause

  1. Fran Brockmyre
    May 23, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    I’m glad you’re a fast learner. But I bet her hot flashes warm you on a cold winter’s night.

    • May 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm

      Fran, not as quickly as I should have.

  2. May 21, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    I am sensing a new theme tonight. No longer about the rapture but women troubles. What shall I say about menopause. I don’t know about yet and too bad boys- deal!!!

    • May 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm

      Yep, I pause….and deal with it.

  3. Jack Sass
    May 21, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    I just hide, it’s easier that way.

    • May 21, 2011 at 6:58 pm

      I’ve tried that tactic Jack. The problem is that she always finds me.

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