Be kind to your neighbor’s noisy, obnoxious dog. He could turn out to be one of those animal heroes you see on TV, in which case you might need him to save your life.
It is not recommended that you try to wash a pair of canvas shoes by wearing them outside in the rain.
Never cough on a co-worker when you have a cold. The person you cough at will catch the same cold, but will stay home to get well. You will be required to finish an urgent project he was working on, as well as all of your own work. You will stay awake for three entire days to get all of this done, which you will accomplish by taking massive amounts of No Doz. Your blood cells will explode from all the caffeine. You will be found sitting with your head on your desk, passed out. Your boss will have to lift your head to retrieve your presentation, which will then be given by that guy you can’t stand because he always steals everyone else’s ideas. He will claim all the credit. He will be promoted. You will be fired and will end up sitting on park benches drinking bad whiskey. So don’t cough on your co-workers.
It is always darkest before the dawn. Of course, if you are fast asleep when dawn comes, you won’t be paying any attention and it won’t matter how dark it is. In that case, forget it.