This is the kind of real-world story that causes rage among Americans whose European ancestors showed up uninvited at Ellis Island. According to the Daily Mail, some homeowners in California are using their homes to operate “maternity mansions” where foreign women live during the last months of their pregnancy. The idea is for their children to be born on US soil, thus becoming American citizens upon birth. It’s not cheap, costing $5,000 – $10,000, but it sure beats dealing with those crazy militias on the Arizona border.
You gotta love California, always innovating.
Not surprisingly, some people are quite angered by this. But I choose to see the baby bottle as being half full, since this will be a good thing for America. Here’s how:
1) Foreclosed homes still plague the land, rotting away even as the housing market recovers. The advent of maternity mansions will cause these homes to be purchased, fixed up, and put to use. Property values will rise, a win-win for everyone. Think about that photo of wild cougars living in an empty So-Cal house and then try telling me a maternity mansion isn’t better.
2) Mo-Money! Fix up an empty six bedroom house with cracked marble countertops and an unused, mosquito-breeding hot tub. Then fill it with a series of high-paying guests. What do you get? A lot of new money flowing into the economy, that’s what. More spending means more jobs and a reduction in the 8% unemployment rate. This is the stimulus package the Democrats couldn’t pull off.
3) There will be a massive surge in demand for maternity-related goods and services. The folks at Gerber are keeping mum, but you know they’re just like McDonald’s customers – they’re Lovin’ It!
4) Try finding a better funding alternative for parents with college-bound kids who don’t want to turn their offspring into student-debt slaves. This beats running that meth lab in the basement.
And best of all:
5) Just think of the hormone levels present in a “mansion” housing five or six pregnant women. Simply unbelievable. If someone filmed a reality show, it’d make Keeping Up With The Kardashians look like a Buddhist convention. Massive global growth potential here, possibly enough to offset military cuts.
Rumor has it that Kate Middleton is considering this option due to England’s lack of sunshine. But you didn’t hear that from me.
As much as I hate reality shows, I might actually watch that one.
American ingenuity at work!
And to think, my Grandmother had to travel all the way across the Atlantic with my future Dad and uncle in tow and go through Ellis Island. People in the old days didn’t know how bad they had it!
Now I don’t know what I’m talking about but I can see a two-tier US citizenship category, arising from this. If there’s money been made, the government are going to want their slice of pie so they’ll probably brand “Maternity Mansion US Citizen” on the new US kids and if they want the branding removed, well then the can pay the asking price which will be a nice little tax earner! Don’t say Bill Y never seen this coming!
In all seriousness, I worry that mega banks will catch on and start to do this with their inventory. At which point it becomes predatory and my whole premise bites the dust.
Your last point makes this sound more dangerous than a meth lab! Hormones are drugs, too!
Very true. Hoping it doesn’t happen.