Merry Christmas!


Yes, I know Christmas is still two months away. But I’m pledging, here and now, publicly, that I’m not sitting this one out like I did last year. I’m not talking about buying gifts or stringing up lights for Christmas. Nope, I’m talking about defending it.

I am so sick and tired of the attacks. Like when you’re at the grocery store. The music overhead is some bad Kenny G version of The First Noel. That’s bad enough. But then the checkout lady hands you your bag. And getting all PC, she smiles and says “Have a happy holidays.”

Last year I would’ve just smiled and accepted the bag. But not this year. Fuck that. I’m standing my ground. I’m gonna smile back and say “And you have yourself a merry CHRISTMAS as well.”

And on the way home I’m gonna yell “Merry CHRISTMAS!” at everyone I walk past. If you’re wearing one of those skull caps, I’m not gonna back down and say “Happy Hanukah.” Unh-unh, no way. This is America and the Mayflower didn’t sail here from Jerusalem, pal.

And when I pass the woman in the hijab or hebab or whatever the hell it is the terrorists call those towel-things, it’s more of the same: “Merry CHRISTMAS!”

It’ll probably be a quiet Christmas this year. My kids stopped coming home for the holidays a bit ago. I have no idea why.

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