This is not true. I’m actually a nice guy.

I took Jill Y on a romantic getaway to the shops to get some shoes. It was a special day that she’ll never forget. I woke her up early and told her that I didn’t want bacon with my 2nd breakfast because I already had some when I was making my first. After she cooked and cleaned, it was time to head to the shops and let her use her credit card. While she looked at shoes I bumped into my ex and we decided to have some photographs taken. They came out really well but my spidey senses kicked in and for reasons of massive obviousness, I worked some Photoshop magic for the sake of my relationship:


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