I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2013
Coworker: “I’m a Vikings fan.”
Me: “Me too. It’s great how they plundered their way across medieval Europe.”
Him:
Talking sports is hard
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2013
If an infomercial says a gadget is the last one I’ll ever need, I assume that’s because it’s going to kill me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2013
Giving your kid 2 middle names is a great way to show the world you don’t know how to make up your mind & will likely be a terrible parent.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2013
My best dance move is the one where I move away from the dance floor and never go back.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2013