The 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination is quickly approaching. Over the years conspiracy theorists have pointed the fingers at all sorts of players: J. Edgar Hoover was behind it; VP Lyndon Johnson wanted Kennedy out of the way so he could assume the Presidency; the Cubans were mad about the Bay Of Pigs; the Mob was tired of Robert Kennedy’s crackdown on organized crime. And so on.
I don’t believe any of these theories. Why? Because I have one of my own. It’s never been adequately explored, but it’s solid.
What do we know about JFK? We know that was a philanderer who engaged in multiple affairs outside the marriage. To put it bluntly, he had a “missile crisis” of his own. On the day Marilyn Monroe sang “Happy Birthday Mister President” Jackie probably muttered “Oh, that is the final straw. The days of playing the good Catholic wife are over!”
But I’m not heading with this where you think I am. Jackie wasn’t behind the shooting (that’s just too cold and wrong to even suggest). No, the truth is even stranger than that. And here it is:
Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone from his perch in the Texas School Book Depository. He was the sole shooter (that guy who fired from the grassy knoll? He was just some spectator Standing His Ground when another viewer’s picnic blanket got too close to his spot). So why did Oswald shoot Kennedy?
Because they were having an affair and Kennedy refused to leave his wife.
Remember, this was 1963. The Summer of Love was still four years away. The dude felt scorned and the rest, as they say, is history.
You that actually makes sense.