I finally got the thing put together and in place, but only after it fell apart about six times and hit me on the head. I keep waiting for it to explode in a clang of metal, making me jump three feet and sending my cat fleeing into the closet, but so far it is staying where I put it. This is a miracle. If I am ever up for sainthood,* the Vatican can use this as proof.
My new shower caddy is finally installed.
It’s one of those long tension pole thingies that fit into the corner of a shower or bathtub area, and it has four little triangle-shaped baskets. I bought it at our local overstock store. Its picture looked really nice on the box it came in. It didn’t occur to me to be suspicious about getting it from a store that sells things that people elsewhere had trouble getting anyone to buy.
I opened the box, took out all the parts, read the instructions and proceeded to follow the directions, step by step. These would have been easy, except for one thing:
The different sections of the 6 – 9 foot pole did not lock together!**
I would get all or some of the parts fitted just right, then CRASH! All of those beautifully fitting but unlocked pole sections would come apart and I would have to start all over again. It didn’t help having all those little baskets on the pole, either. I had to figure out how to get them on there. The instructions were not clear on this and I had to use trial and error. Once the little baskets were on the pole sections, they kept swinging back and forth and being little triangular nuisances.
After many false starts, I finally managed to get the gadget into the bathroom. After it fell apart again, and I put it together again, I found that it was too tall to fit in my shower. I would have to remove one of the sections.
I will spare you the details of the pain of removing a section of the pole while trying, in vain, to keep everything from collapsing.
I carried the shortened gadget into the bathroom and tried to fit it into a corner of my shower, using the correctly installed tension rod on the top. With great physical effort, I almost succeeded in getting it to fit.
It fell apart again, and this time the top part, including one of the baskets, fell on my head. Fortunately, as my parents always told me, I have a thick head, and it didn’t hurt very much. At this point, though, I decided that it was time to retreat from the battle and figure out another strategy on another day. I put the pieces to rest in the bathroom and tried not to think about them the rest of the night.
I came up with my genius idea the next day. What does an American home improvement amateur use to secure just about everything? Duct tape! Of course, duct tape looks awful, but transparent packing tape might work as well. On the way home, I bought a roll of both, just in case.
I decided to use the packing tape first, just because it would look better. Fortunately, it worked. It held the pole together and I was able to fit the freakin’ thing into its corner.
So there it is, being held in place by a hidden spring that I put inside of it, looking and feeling very secure.
But who knows what might happen tomorrow?
*A real long shot at best
**Unfortunately, I was alone at the time, so I don’t have a video of what happened next. You’ll have to use your imaginations.