If you are a foot model for disgusting pictures on a podiatrist’s wall, don’t wear flipflops in public. (Thank you, Jeff Foxworthy.)
Ladies – Never walk around with your skirt tucked up in back. If you have a great tush and beautiful thighs, you will make other women want to put a curse on you. If you have an ugly tush and fat thighs, you will make everyone want to put a curse on you. If you don’t wear underwear, some pervert cop will arrest you and hit on you, not necessarily in that order. If you don’t want to go through all that, make sure your skirt is all the way down.
Ladies again – If you think that nobody can see that teeny-tiny little run way down on the heel of your otherwise good pair of pantyhose, think again. Even if they are half-blind, older women have special radar and laser-beam vision for defects in other women’s attire. Every old lady who sees you will spot that miniscule run right through your shoe.
Gentlemen – Remember your favorite white shirt with the chili dog stain that you just know you can hide under your jacket? Well, everybody can see it, and everybody thinks you’re a slob.
Gentlemen again – Don’t wear bikini briefs when you’re trying to impress someone. They are guaranteed to ride up and cause intense pain. Reaching in to adjust them will not be socially acceptable, unless you’re at a support group for flashers.