Proof Of God, Vol. VII | HumorOutcasts

Proof Of God, Vol. VII

July 10, 2014
By

SnakeToilet

A construction worker in Alabama was recently taking a restroom break in the construction office’s bathroom when he looked down and saw a four-foot long snake in the toilet. At first he thought it was a joke. But when the venomous cotton-mouth moved, he knew it was for real.

 

“Construction office” and “bathroom” are two words that should never share a sentence. Together they evoke a horror far greater than any snake-scare. But that’s just a side-note, so let’s move on.

 

You’re probably shaking your head in disgust. Don’t. Because this is actually a cause for joyous celebration. We’ve seen snakes emerging when we’re in a partially undressed state before:

AdamEve

In this drawing Eve is demonstrating what will happen to Adam’s trouser-apples if he even looks at another woman. Sure, she’s the only woman in the universe at this point. But she’s noticed the way Adam looks at other wild animals in the kingdom and isn’t taking any chances.

And God, being utterly frustrated with America’s 50% divorce rate, sent that snake to the construction site bathroom as a reminder to mankind. I’m certain of it. Sure, the snake botched the job, but the point has been made.

Yeah, I know. You’re thinking “a toilet inspires your writing? Really?” But I’m not picky. I take inspiration wherever it comes from.

Thomas Sullivan

Thomas Sullivan is the author of So Much Time, So Little Change (a book of essays published by Wayman Publishing). It is available at Amazon in print and Kindle. Thomas lives in Seattle.

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8 Responses to Proof Of God, Vol. VII

  1. July 12, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Thanks to this instructive piece, I’m also never using one of those outdoor “John’s Johns” again.

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    July 11, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    That Eve one was really clever and there’s no doubt about that.

  3. Kathy Minicozzi
    July 10, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Oh, come on! You just wanted an excuse to use that picture! 😉

  4. July 10, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    At last we have a sequel to that epic movie Snakes on a Plane. Can’t wait for Snakes on a Construction Site.

  5. July 10, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    I don’t want to poop anymore.

    • July 10, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      Makes ya wanna use the back yard, don’t it?

  6. July 10, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    God moves in mysterious ways.

    • July 10, 2014 at 9:12 pm

      Thanks for sharing that link, Paul.



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