“He probably didn’t mean anything by that remark. You should spend the next six hours over-analyzing it.”–estrogen
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2014
It’s weird how when a woman says, “What are you thinking?” it sounds exactly like “I’m looking for something to fight about.”
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2014
4: Pet my bear. Me: That’s a stuffed tiger. 4: I’m pretending M: Why not use a teddy bear? 4: He’s an elephant. It all makes sense now.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2014
Breakup sex: because the best way to say “sorry I ruined your life” is with an orgasm.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2014
Remember, it takes 2 balls to be a man, but it takes like 10 or 11 to play croquet. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Balls.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2014
