Zombies, Shoes, and the TSA | HumorOutcasts

Zombies, Shoes, and the TSA

September 20, 2014
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   I’d think zombies would like flip-flops over shoes with laces, what with their missing fingers, decreased motor skills, and all. I’d think this would be particularly important with increased TSA security at airports. I mean how would you like to be late for that flight for the Tucson Tamale Festival and have a zombie fumble for all eternity with his shoes.

And pity that poor zombie. Not only has he encountered nearly universal prejudice from the living, but he now must face  the same from weary travelers at airports. So if you see a zombie fumbling with his laces, give him a flip flop or Croc. You’ll have made a friend for undeadness.

And you’ll make your flight, too.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  ace reporter.

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Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

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Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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One Response to Zombies, Shoes, and the TSA

  1. September 21, 2014 at 8:02 am

    I can identify with this since The TSA lost my shoe last spring and there wasn’t a flip flop or croc to be had. They should keep them handy!



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