The infamous coif that has become Donald Trump’s trademark has been nominated for a Nobel Piece Prize for its “services to raising the profile of hairpieces worldwide.”
It is the first time that an American hairpiece has been selected for the prestigious nomination.
Trump received the news while attending the annual conference of the National League of Bulk Hairspray Manufactures, which is backing his campaign to become president of the United States. The billionaire property tycoon said that he is honored to accept the nomination, and explained that maintaining his coif takes a lot of money and hard work, which is why illegal Mexican immigrants do not sport them.
The nomination is sure to become one of Trump’s talking points in his bid to win the presidency, and the other candidates were quick to attack the award.
Jeb Bush said that he supports conservative hair styles and ostentatious coifs are morally degenerate. Ted Cruz threatened to shut the US government down if the nomination is not withdrawn, and blamed President Obama for using the coif to increase taxes. Both Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee angrily denounced the hairpiece as ungodly, and pointed out that not one picture of Jesus Christ features a coif.
Fox News reported that the Obama Administration is planning to force every American to wear a coif as part of the Affordable Care Act. The hairpiece mandate threatens the very fabric of American grooming, thundered the news channel.
The coif is favorite to win the Nobel Piece Prize in October, and the Trump organization is reportedly planning a number of spin off ventures including a Coiffed Apprentice show and a Coiffed Miss Universe pageant.
Well … why not? Obama got a Peace Prize … they’re handing them out like Pez dispensers. And wouldn’t a Trump Pez dispenser look scary!
A Trump Pez dispenser maybe with a plastic coif – nightmare stuff.
Oh my gosh! This just made me laugh out loud!
The Donald never fails!
Trump’s biggest fear is that the liberals are coming to take away his piece.
They would need several trucks.
Pardon my coiffing…I was choking on a hair ball. Such a funny post…and so great to have met you at the PWC2015!
Thanks Cathy. Hair ball coifs are the worst. Try spraying your throat with Donald’s Hot Illegal Mexican Hair Spray. Good to meet you at PWC2015 too – nice to put a face to your words! Good luck with the book promos.