Fitness T-Shirt Motivation

Really?  It's easy. Watch me.
Really? It’s easy. Watch me.

I’ve gone to my fitness center once in the last six months.  Considering my monthly membership fee, my gym card is the most expensive photo ID I own.  I sit on the ab crunching machine, hoping to do 50, and the back of a muscle man’s tee-shirt catches my eye:  GO BIG OR GO HOME.

I think, OK, maybe I’ll add 25 leg lifts.

Afterwards, I walk past a man pulling on rope chains, as if hoisting a whale from the deep.  A woman climbs a rotation ladder that ascends steeply toward infinity.  I purse my lips and think, “Honey, don’t blow your knees out.”

I shake the jealousy away and think, “I’m not doing badly for my age, motoring around compared to other people.”  (“Other people” being the paralyzed or the bedridden).

Just then a blonde in neon pink walks by with a slogan emblazoned across her perkiness:  EXC– USES SUCK.

Really? Fine, I’ll have a few go-rounds on the indoor track.

After a few (true to my word) laps (in the slow lane because the window views are marvelous), I sit down for a read.  Where are all the gossip mags?  Geez, I am being forced to review versions of Best Workouts.  Fascists.

Another tee-shirt goes by: SUCCESS DOES NOT REST.

Oh, kiss my abs. It’s time for lunch.

Share this Post:

16 thoughts on “Fitness T-Shirt Motivation”

  1. You are such a great writer and comedian, I have faith that you will come up with the best slogan ever for yourself and others like you. Oh and great article.

  2. Suzette,I have to admit I loved the graphic. But I thought it referred to drinking coffee and eating chocolate. It does,right? Hilarious post!

    1. Cathy, now you have an insightful mind. I didn’t see it at first. OF COURSE, it meant we will not be stopped….from drinking coffee and eating chocolate. (Maybe I missed the fine print on the t-shirt). LOL!

  3. I hereby certify your fitness—to write funny. Congratulations on all the lifts you’ve done. You’ve lifted a weight from my shoulders, lifted my mood, and lifted my spirits.

Comments are closed.