When fabled nicknames go wrong
Never believe your own PR. Years ago I was married to a criminal lawyer, whose name I’ll shorten to Ken Q. He defended impossible cases and his acquittals made headlines. A reporter dubbed him “Hurricane […]
Tag: Suzette Standring
Fitness T-Shirt Motivation
I’ve gone to my fitness center once in the last six months. Considering my monthly membership fee, my gym card is the most expensive photo ID I own. I sit on the ab crunching machine, […]
Toilet Underbite: Bad Holiday Decorating
I’m deep into holiday decorating and now my toilet seat has an underbite. The threat of company has others garlanding hallways, but not me. I’m disgruntled at the ancient toilet seat in the guest bathroom. […]
When Dogs Pee on You: Owner Etiquette
A bulldog peed on me. An amiable little slob, it sniffed at my ankles and the next thing I know, warm seepage on my pant leg. I was dumbstruck. Its owner was horrified. Just moments […]
Thanksgiving Under The Gay Turkey Wing
Recently, a friend described her Thanksgiving table as the Land of the Misfit Toys. “Anyone who doesn’t have a place to go comes to my house,” she said. Years ago that was us when David […]
Bat Attack: Swooping and Swatting
Around midnight, a dark creature swooped into my living room, and I mistook it for a bird. When a rodent’s face fluttered up against mine, I whooped, the coffee table was upended, and papers went […]
Let the Mask Down: Black Leather Chaps, Vampires, and Norsemen
Years ago, I spotted the chubby gay guy, his hairy butt hanging out of leather chaps. He stood on a patch of lawn, bare-chested in a studded harness, sipping a beer. “I want to talk […]
I had a fish pedicure
Video Clip: Suzette Standring Gets a Fish Pedicure In France I had a fish pedicure where scores of fishes nibbled away at my tootsies. When I read the signs, “Fish Pedicure” and “Fish Massage,” I […]
Tweets, Twits, Hookups
Twitter. I like it best when done by birds. So many old words mean very new things. Language is ever evolving but at age 60, what I don’t know can be embarrassing. Since when did […]
The Mezquita: cathedrals, marvels and mosques – oh my!
Those with ADD will be delighted. I visited the Mezquita de Cordoba, that jaw dropping Moorish marvel of a cathedral-former-mosque in southern Spain and I’ve compressed four centuries worth of history. You’ll be going for […]