Steaming Hot Hotel Deals


With the movie version of 50 Shades Of Grey dropping on Valentines Day, hotels are offering movie-themed packages to draw customers. The B Ocean Resort in Fort Lauderdale is offering a collection of steamy amenities that include a silk tie, a bottle of Pouilly Fume wine, a cheese and fruit platter, and a “love kit.” Other hotels are offering amenities like spanking powder and trips to nearby sex museums.

Not to be left behind, a Motel 6 in Baltimore is getting in on the action. In a press release the motel stated: “We’re putting the ball back in Baltimore. If you’re looking to increase the size of your package, then stay with us on February 14th. Our Bent Shades getaway will leave you filled with endless mamories” [sic.]

Amenities will include:

  • A room where the paint has faded into fifty slightly different shades of grey.
  • A room temperature set to 85 degrees with a humidifier running full blast.
  • Unlimited access to grainy celebrity sex tapes.
  • One voucher for a lingerie shopping excursion at a nearby Wal-Mart.
  • For the guys, a $50 gift certificate at Sears for a DIY love-kit (power tools not included).
  • Live, 24-hour chat-support with former IMF Director Dominique Strauss Kahn.

And as if that wasn’t enough to get your heart pounding:

For every noise complaint that draws the police, we’ll donate $25 to Unicef.

Space is limited, so sign up now. As for those gunshots? Just think of them as fireworks and everything will be fine.

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10 thoughts on “Steaming Hot Hotel Deals”

  1. There was a hotel here in Philly that used to have theme rooms. When I was a reporter I had to do a story on them. There was a caveman room, a harem room and I forget the other two, but oh my…

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