Evil Treats

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Today I am grateful for evil treats.  What in the Hell has happened to my common sense and willpower?  Gone, gone, gone with the wind!  It blew right into a tin of cookies and hasn’t been seen for weeks.

I like cookies.  There is something about the crunchy, crispy, small bits that makes me feel good.  Until I eat too many and then I don’t.  It’s the same with candy.  We always have candy in the house.  Usually I don’t pay any attention to it at all.  It doesn’t even shout at me like a piece of wedding cake does.  I can resist.  Really.

Then I MADE candy.  Christmas Crack, which has the perfect name and Peanut Clusters, which are apparently clustering around my ass. . .the same place the crack has landed.  Butt-pun intended.

Both of my sons and their wives brought some yummy cookies and candy to our celebration.  They didn’t take any of it home.  I’ve tried every single one and even eaten a few pieces at once so that they would just be gone.  I call it “taking one for the team.”  Ha-ha!  How stupid.  And wonderful.

That’s the way it was with the little brown square in the middle.  It is some kind of butterscotch-chip-piece-o-Heaven.  Or Hell.  Depending on whether or not the guilt sets in.  They didn’t look like much, so I almost didn’t even take a bite right away.  Then I did.  I can’t say that the “Halleluiah Chorus” played out loud, but it sure blasted in my head.  Yuummmy!

I don’t eat the stuff all day long.  That’s something, isn’t it?  Aren’t I strong?  I have some tidbit with my tea in the morning and savor every bite.  But I can’t continue doing this.  I thought I was getting stronger, you know, able to resist entirely.

Then that evil butterscotch treat rose to the surface.  Damn!  I thought those things were all gone.  Well they are now.  Take that!  I showed it who was boss.  It!