1. To make the Guinness Book of World Records for consecutive jaywalking.
2. To get a group of people together and spray paint the county courthouse.
3. To see how many times in a row you can sing Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” as loud as possible before the neighbors have you arrested.
4. To dye your hair purple, in order to look like Mrs. Slocombe on “Are You Being Served?”
5. To master the art of simultaneously texting, listening to music, ordering an Uber car and checking your email, while skateboarding on a busy sidewalk.
6. To write an exposé about the hospital where you end up after attempting No. 6.
7. To start an alligator farm in your back yard.
Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera for People Who Don’t Like It, which is available on Amazon.com, in paperback and Kindle.