Kathy’s Points to Remember | HumorOutcasts

Kathy’s Points to Remember

January 3, 2016

New Years Resolutions 2016It is advisable not to make the following resolutions, no matter how much fun they must be:

1. To make the Guinness Book of World Records for consecutive jaywalking.

2. To get a group of people together and spray paint the county courthouse.

3. To see how many times in a row you can sing Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” as loud as possible before the neighbors have you arrested.

4. To dye your hair purple, in order to look like Mrs. Slocombe on “Are You Being Served?”

5. To master the art of simultaneously texting, listening to music, ordering an Uber car and checking your email, while skateboarding on a busy sidewalk.

6. To write an exposé about the hospital where you end up after attempting No. 6.

7. To start an alligator farm in your back yard.

Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera for People Who Don’t Like It, which is available on Amazon.com, in paperback and Kindle.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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11 Responses to Kathy’s Points to Remember

  1. January 7, 2016 at 5:43 am

    I’ve already been arrested for singing Barry Manilow, but otherwise I’m doing okay with that list.

  2. January 4, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Damn it! I totally want the alligator farm. It’ll be my “dates that didn’t work out” pool of pleasure. 🙂

  3. Deb Martin-Webster
    January 3, 2016 at 11:33 am

    Too late for me Kathy. I’ve already dyed my hair like Mrs. Slocombe and danced with Rico at the Copacabana the hottest spot north of Havana. 🙁

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 3, 2016 at 5:55 pm

      There is still hope for you, though, since you didn’t actually sing the Barry Manilow song in order to annoy the neighbors. If you can keep yourself from trying any of the other things, you’ll be fine. 😉

      Purple, blue or pink hair? Well, at least nobody could accuse you of having the same old boring hair that everyone else has, right? 😉

  4. Bill Y Ledden
    January 3, 2016 at 11:22 am

    I live in a castle at the top of a mountain so I can sing Bill’s song and have no neighbors to have me arrested.

    AND WE WENT “HA HA” . . .

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 3, 2016 at 5:51 pm

      LOL! You could make a fortune renting out practice rooms to opera singers! 😉

    • Bill Spencer
      January 4, 2016 at 5:27 am

      Castle at the top of a mountain! I KNEW you were a king, your majesty!

      • Kathy Minicozzi
        January 4, 2016 at 11:24 pm

        Of course. He is the ruler of several eastern European countries. Everybody knows that. 😉

  5. January 3, 2016 at 6:06 am

    This smells like sane advice. On a humour column? 🙂

  6. Bill Spencer
    January 3, 2016 at 5:49 am

    AND WE WENT “HA HA” . . .

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 3, 2016 at 5:50 pm

      Gee! I have inspired a poem!

      I can now die contented! 😉

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