It is advisable not to make the following resolutions, no matter how much fun they must be:
1. To make the Guinness Book of World Records for consecutive jaywalking.
2. To get a group of people together and spray paint the county courthouse.
3. To see how many times in a row you can sing Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” as loud as possible before the neighbors have you arrested.
4. To dye your hair purple, in order to look like Mrs. Slocombe on “Are You Being Served?”
5. To master the art of simultaneously texting, listening to music, ordering an Uber car and checking your email, while skateboarding on a busy sidewalk.
6. To write an exposé about the hospital where you end up after attempting No. 6.
7. To start an alligator farm in your back yard.
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Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera for People Who Don’t Like It, which is available on Amazon.com, in paperback and Kindle.
I’ve already been arrested for singing Barry Manilow, but otherwise I’m doing okay with that list.
Damn it! I totally want the alligator farm. It’ll be my “dates that didn’t work out” pool of pleasure. 🙂
Too late for me Kathy. I’ve already dyed my hair like Mrs. Slocombe and danced with Rico at the Copacabana the hottest spot north of Havana. 🙁
There is still hope for you, though, since you didn’t actually sing the Barry Manilow song in order to annoy the neighbors. If you can keep yourself from trying any of the other things, you’ll be fine. 😉
Purple, blue or pink hair? Well, at least nobody could accuse you of having the same old boring hair that everyone else has, right? 😉
I live in a castle at the top of a mountain so I can sing Bill’s song and have no neighbors to have me arrested.
HER NAME WAS KA-THY,
AND SHE SANG OP-RA.
SHE POSTED HU-MOR,
AND WE WENT “HA HA” . . .
LOL! You could make a fortune renting out practice rooms to opera singers! 😉
Castle at the top of a mountain! I KNEW you were a king, your majesty!
Of course. He is the ruler of several eastern European countries. Everybody knows that. 😉
This smells like sane advice. On a humour column? 🙂
HER NAME WAS KA-THY,
AND SHE SANG OP-RA.
SHE POSTED HU-MOR,
AND WE WENT “HA HA” . . .
Gee! I have inspired a poem!
I can now die contented! 😉