The Cleveland Circus has opened under the guise of the Republican National Convention. It’s “Trumpalooza” all decked out in red, white, blue and orange. In the center ring is the largest clown ever to run for President.
Watch as Donald McTrumpy surrounds himself by outrageously conservative acts using smoke and mirrors. Also, dazzle yourself as pundits spin the truth faster than plates on greased poles.
I tuned into the festivities because I wanted to see the giant elephants perform a final act before they retire to National Parks, which could cease to exist due to a Republican platform proposal.
After an evening of festivities, here is what I’ve learned.
- The RNC stands for Really Negative Caucasians
- Joni and Chachi love Donald
- Antonio Sabato Jr. lacks blood to his brain from too tight Calvin Klein’s
- Melania Trump speaks four languages including Michelle Obamaese
- Rudy Giuliani broadcasts to Radio Free Europe without a microphone
- Hilary Clinton is responsible for every major tragedy in history including, Rome burning, the crucifixion, the Civil War, the sinking of the Titanic, World War II, Celebrity Apprentice, and Kanye West.
I’ll make sure I tune in this evening when Donald Trump Jr. delivers a speech he wrote called “I Have a Dream,” followed by Tiffany Trump reciting the alphabet.