SPARKS BRIEF: A New Bunker Hill

Philadelphia, PA – Bryan Homes, a builder of quality houses across the tri-state area, announced a plan for new communities.

The latest concept headed for construction, is single-family bunkers.

“We are always looking to the future, and want to offer homeowners the newest trend in family living,” Marvin Whipple, Marketing Manager for Bryan Homes reported. “Bunker homes are on everyone’s ‘must have’ list,”

“With our current national climate and the need to feel secure, we our offering sophisticated, modern living encased in concrete and steel,” Jack Turban, Area Sales Manager explained.

The first community “Bunker Hill” located in South Jersey’s farmland, will feature 150 homes including a subterranean pool and club house.

“We have traditional designs which we call our “Colonial Root Cellars” and contemporary “Mid-Century Modern Shelters.” Turban explained.

“Our custom designs let you select your own hatch color and you can add an above ground Florida Room for the sunny days when terrorism threats are low.”

The Bryan Homes designs replicate all the amenities of suburban living with the safety of being covered by tons of dirt.

“You’ll never know you’re underground, unless you look for a window,” Turban said.

He explained there is an upgrade for buyers, and faux windows can be installed.

“For an additional upgrade, we can include faux sunlight, faux starry night, faux rain, and faux snow. It’s alternative weather,” Turban advised.

According to Whipple, the Bunker Hill Community is completely sold out.

“Most American families want to know they can go to bed each night feeling secure. In case, tiny orange fingers decide to press the button,” Whipple said.

Future communities are scheduled in PA and DE. Information for The Village at Demagogue Downs and the Mansions at Fascism Falls will be released shortly.

“Check our website for further updates. Click on the link – One Nation Underground,” Whipple advised.



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3 thoughts on “SPARKS BRIEF: A New Bunker Hill”

  1. Warning: I heard that neighboring communities were complaining—that, in fact, these bunker boroughs were creating a lot of fallout.

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