Everything I Could Do Then I Can Do Now | HumorOutcasts

Everything I Could Do Then I Can Do Now

February 12, 2018

Admit it, Ladies! You always wanted to look like this!

I can still do everything I could do in my youth, and I’ll prove it!


In my younger days, I could walk anywhere. Was the downtown shopping area more than three miles from my house? Did Mom take the car, leaving me with no transportation? No problem! As long as the weather was good, I could walk those three-plus miles, hit some of the stores, and, if necessary, walk back home. (I defined “necessary” as any situation where I couldn’t get anyone in the family to come and get me.) And oh yes — let that big German Shepherd come out of his yard and bite me on the rear again! I could take it!

I am now in my early 70s (VERY early 70s – please remember that). I can still walk to almost anywhere I need to go. Most of the places I need to go to now are only a few short blocks from where I live, but that doesn’t count. I can walk to them, period. There aren’t any big, aggressive dogs on the loose here, for which I am grateful, because I would feel obligated to learn how to make them fear me, and I have never been successful at scaring anything bigger than a cockroach.

Climbing Stairs

In the old days, I could go up and down stairs, taking two of them at a time, if I was in the mood to do so. Most of the time I was not in the mood, but I could do it.

I can still go up and down stairs. I take them one at a time now, holding onto the railing, but the end result is the same. I get to where I want to be, up or down, and I don’t yet have to buy one of those chair doohickeys that rides up and down on the hand rail. I live on the first floor, anyway, in a building that has two elevators.


I was never good at running. I could outrun my mother, but that was about it. Every other kid could run faster than I could. That hasn’t changed over the years. Forget this one.


I took ballet lessons as a kid, and I’m sure they helped me to stay in shape, but I was hopeless at it. I was a big-boned, awkward kid. Forget becoming a second Pavlova. I couldn’t even get my feet into First Position. The best I could achieve was a wide “V.” As for bar work, I was okay, but only if I was allowed to hang as if on a Monkey Bar. I could not, without extreme difficulty, put one foot on the floor and the other up on the bar.

Nowadays, I only do ballet movements to be funny. I still can’t do them.

Being an “out-crowd” kid who was never asked on a date, I never had a chance to get my dance craze chops going. This was a shame, because I would have been good at it. I took one or two ballroom dancing classes, though, and they would have been a lot of fun if I had not always been paired with someone who couldn’t figure out where his feet should go. My partners often depended on me to lead, even though I was the girl and I wasn’t supposed to do that.

I can still move around well on a dance floor, especially if I can do something simple or make it impromptu. If you expect me to follow a series of steps, you’ll have to give me some practice time, like a day or two.


We didn’t have home computers when I was younger. Computers were gigantic things that could take up entire rooms, and if you wanted to get any information from them you had to use a card with little punched holes in it. Only experts could use a computer. The rest of us were awed by the machines and afraid that they would make us obsolete.

I have had a series of home computers by now, and am now the proud owner of an all-in-one Dell PC and a big, heavy laptop, both of them loaded with Windows 10. I love to play on the computer. I am active on Facebook and email, I play games, I do research through Google, and I do all my writing on my PC. I can work in Word, Excel and PowerPoint. As a soon-to-be 72-year-old, I am proud of myself. I have friends around my age who think the computer is the Antichrist.

I could go on, but I won’t (for now, at least). If anyone wants to join in on the fun, please leave a comment.

This person has lived, and she’s still doing it!

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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6 Responses to Everything I Could Do Then I Can Do Now

  1. Bill Spencer
    February 13, 2018 at 7:29 am

    Bill Y’s Thirsty Dave is showing me how to still do “bar work.”

    • February 13, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      It’s always good to remain active and employed. 😀

    • Bill Y "The Legendary Legend" Ledden
      February 18, 2018 at 9:05 am

      Thirsty Dave is always on hand to give someone a hand.

      The whole “age is a state of mind” thingy works for me and my mind is in some state.

      • February 18, 2018 at 10:35 pm

        “70 is the new 50” works for me, too. Now if I can only get my arthritic knees to cooperate.

  2. February 12, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    I am only 40 years old now that I’ve switched to base 15.

    • February 12, 2018 at 10:08 pm

      I took a class in New Math back in college, but don’t worry. I won’t give out the secret of your real age, especially since you are younger than I am, if the figure you gave us above is the truth. LOL!

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