Singing Up a Spring | HumorOutcasts

Singing Up a Spring

April 4, 2018
By

Hey, I wrote a song!

It’s not a great song … but then, I’m not a great song writer. There are two problems: First, I meant it to be humorous, but it comes off as kind of depressing; chalk that up to the weather and my sinus infection, I suppose. Second, it’s a song, and I was hearing the music in my head while writing the words (It has a country vibe). But I can’t play it for you because I can’t write music … so it probably won’t work as well as a poem. Maybe it’s for the best, though, because I’m also not a great music writer. Or … any music writer.

I call it: Springing Out of Springdom.

(I’m not a great title writer, either.)

 

 

I like to ride in the countryside

just to take in spring.

The flower blossoms, birds at play

and all the greening things.

 

But this year I’ve come to realize

something that’s made me sad.

We won’t get a spring this year

’cause we’ve all been too bad.

 

Yeah, we’ve all been too bad this year,

we just can’t get along.

We fight and fuss and disagree

Even as the days get long.

 

Mother Nature said “Screw you!”

“I’ll just evaporate.”

So winter just won’t end this year;

she left us to our fate.

 

So now the temp’s below average

just like all our moods.

Plants are brown and grass is dead,

let’s face it–we’re all screwed.

 

Our tulips won’t come up this year,

They’re underneath a drift.

The robins are hitchhiking south,

their frozen wings won’t lift.

 

Yes, we’ve all been too bad this year,

we don’t deserve the spring.

Mosquitoes can’t come out in this,

it’s frostbite that’ll sting.

 

Mother Nature said “Stuff it!”

and left us all to freeze.

so winter just won’t end this year,

no flowers, birds, or bees.

 

So let’s all try to get along,

we just don’t have to fight.

At this rate our nice summer

will become a year long night.

 

It’s not that we all must be friends,

but hatred hurts our souls.

If we don’t make up by Christmas

At least we can heat with coals.

 

True, we’ve all been too bad this year,

and spring will never come

if we don’t get our butts in gear

and stop being so dumb.

 

Mother nature said “I’m done!”

and winter’s staying strong.

So dig back out your salt and plows …

or try to get along.

 

I think I can, I think I can …
It’s so quiet, you can hear a tree drop.
Hey, it’s spring, let’s take a walk … never mind.
This would be more like it.

Mark R Hunter

Mark R Hunter is the author of three romantic comedies: Radio Red, Storm Chaser, and its sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant, as well as a related story collection, Storm Chaser Shorts. He also wrote a young adult adventure, The No-Campfire Girls, and a humor collection, Slightly Off the Mark. In addition, he collaborated with his wife, Emily, on the history books Images of America: Albion and Noble County, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So With The Albion Fire Department, and Hoosier Hysterical. Mark’s work also appeared in the anthologies My Funny Valentine and Strange Portals: Ink Slingers’ Fantasy/Horror Anthology. For two decades Mark R Hunter has been an emergency dispatcher for the Noble County Sheriff Department. He’s served over 32 years as a volunteer for the Albion Fire Department, holding such positions as safety officer, training officer, secretary, and public information officer. He also has done public relations writing for the Noble County Relay For Life, among other organizations, and served two terms on the Albion Town Council. When asked if he has any free time, he laughs hysterically. Mark lives in Albion, Indiana, with his wife and editor Emily, a cowardly ball python named Lucius, and a loving, scary dog named Beowulf. He has two daughters and twin grandsons, and so naturally is considering writing a children’s book.

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