SPARKS BRIEF: Nation Shocked at Latest Revelation | HumorOutcasts

SPARKS BRIEF: Nation Shocked at Latest Revelation

January 11, 2018

Billions of people around the globe were stunned at top secret information revealed in a tweet – “Trump is a stable genius!”

The news has shaken the globe like nothing since Al Capone’s vault was opened.

An undisclosed White House Official stated “everyone in the West Wing is as astounded as the rest of humanity.”

Ivanka Trump has issued a statement to the press. “It is a surprise my father has to tweet about his genius. Only an advanced physicist and origami master would be able to create his signature hairstyle. He unveils a yellow/orange halo every day.”

A spokesperson for Mensa confirmed that Trump is not a member of the high IQ society. “In our estimation only an imbecile would tweet to the world they’re a genius. It’s like Brad Pitt tweeting to the world he’s handsome. It’s what we at Mensa like to call Donald Trump – a no-brainer.”

In a response to Mensa, Donald Trump Jr. claimed his father is a certified genius. “He invented the taco bowl. Only a creative genius could think of putting a taco in a bowl that is also a taco, and it’s edible. He has a superior Aryan brain which allowed him to create authentic Hispanic food and make it the official meal of Cinco de Mayo.”

Donald Jr. was later advised by his personal assistant that his statement was incorrect and he shouted “Fake News!”

Polls indicate no one has ever associated the word “genius” with the Trump family.

Eric Trump stumbled to the defense of his father as a reporter caught him exiting the Lego Store in Rockefeller Center. “My dad is very smart. He can use a cell phone and do Twitter. I’m still mastering my Speak & Spell.”

When asked if Tiffany could corroborate Trump’s claim of intellectual prowess, Eric replied, “I don’t know. You’d have to call and ask for the store manager.”

Senior White House Adviser to Trump and son-in-law, Jared Kushner, told reporters he couldn’t confirm if he was a “stable genius” since he had never seen Donald mount a horse, but he was a very clever businessman.

“Who else could arrange for Russians to come to Trump Tower and discuss Hilary Clinton adopting children.” he stated.

No further comments have been issued by the Trump Administration which is being, like, really smart.

Vince G. Sparks

Vince G. Sparks, freelance writer, and avid reader is a genetically creative person with a talent for expressing the written word. Vince has a background in communications, public relations, and journalism. Also, he spent many years in human resources navigating corporate America. He masterminds the blog Sparks Ignites, where he shares his “slice of life” stories and social commentary with insight, humor, and extra-dry wit. He’s been published in the Elephant Journal online magazine, with two articles selected as Editor’s Picks. He is a member of South Jersey Writers Group Board of Trustees. For more and to stay connected visit him on social media and his website

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One Response to SPARKS BRIEF: Nation Shocked at Latest Revelation

  1. January 11, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    Donald Trump is a legend. He’s a legend because he’s an incredibly stupid narcissist, but at least he’s a legend! 😉

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