Spring things (for runners)

Ah, spring. It is the best of times; it is the worst of times (with apologies to Charles Dickens) for runners.

The cold grip of winter is now (or shortly will be, we hope) behind us. The long pants, the wool hats, the gloves, the multi layers of clothing can now be put away and forgotten for awhile. It’s time to put on the shorts, the t-shirts and the windbreaker and enjoy the warm, gently breezes of spring and the April showers that are supposed to bring forth May flowers. It also means that you have less laundry to do!

It’s also a great time to call your boss at work and explain that you have to take a day off because you’ve got a bad case of “spring fever” and the only way to get rid of it is to sweat heavily to reduce the fever and the best method to do that is a long run outdoors.

Unfortunately, it also means that the winter wimps now come out in force. The winter wimps are the runners who, like daffodils, are only seen once the weather warms up but also, like daffodils, in many cases, soon wither and die, never to be seen until next year. They invade my solitude like a swarm of locust descending on a field of grain.

Fortunately, like the locusts, most of then will be gone in a few weeks seduced away by their lame excuses of “I really don’t have the time”, “It’s really hard”, “My knees hurt” etc. Unfortunately, I’m now left with the Grandmas and Grandpas who are “retired” and now babysit and litter the path with rug rats of all sizes creating a minefield to navigate around or the moms with baby carriages creating a three abreast unbreakable phalanx across the path.

It’s also the first time in months that the previously unseen neighbors venture outdoors abandoning their womb inside on the treadmill for some outdoors experience to obtain a little tan for their pasty white skin. Of course, these are the same people who, when it gets too hot in the summer, will retreat back inside for the cool interior with air conditioning. I guess you could call them the summer wimps.

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