Annoying runners | HumorOutcasts

Annoying runners

March 15, 2019

Once again (finally) spring is nearly here. It’s time to get back out the door, shed those winter blues (and winter duds) and get back on the trail and join the rest of us. Just be aware of who you might meet.

If you’re a long time runner, you’ve probably come across one or more of these runners. If you are new to running or plan to start, here’s a little information to prepare you.

  1. The chatty runner. “Sure, you’re welcome to come and run with me” you say. Just be careful of what you agree to. Some runners take this as an invitation to spill out all their woes or just babble on endlessly. Just smile and nod your head and be sure to never agree to run with them again.
  2. The sprinter. He doesn’t understand how to pace himself so he sprints out ahead of you and then stops and walks. Then you pass him and he does it again. This continues throughout the run unless you trip him when he passes the second time, he falls flat on his face and walks the rest of the way. As noted above, just smile and be sure to never run with the idiot again. (Keep your eye out for beginning runners and kids since this is pretty common with them. If you are a beginning runner don’t do it.)
  3. The competitor. Whether it’s just your daily run or an actual race, this guy will not let you pass. As soon as you try to pass he speeds up to get ahead of you and then slows down. What, are you trying to impress your girlfriend? Of course, you can always turn the tables and do the same thing to him! That way you’ll both get a good workout.
  4. The “selfie” runner. This person has to stop along the way to take a picture of themselves to post on social media. Really? Get over yourself. At least wait until the run is done otherwise I’m liable to run over you.
  5. The Promoter. All he talks about is running. He’ll regale you with his latest race; his PR’s, his podium finishes, his medals, and all the while exhorting you to become a runner.
  6. The “excuses” runner. Says he’s going to meet you at the park for your early morning run only never shows because “his alarm clock didn’t go off” or “he forgot it was for today” or “he was too tired”. Next time just plan a solo run, no disappointment!

Roger Hollis

Air Force veteran, a veteran of 30+ years in the corporate world. Published in Medical Devices magazine. Illustrator for "1000 Ways in 1000 Days" available on Amazon. Long time runner. Author of "Running Log" also available on Amazon

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