Booting Up the Carpocalypse | HumorOutcasts

Booting Up the Carpocalypse

February 10, 2019

Remember when cars didn’t have starters, and you used to have to crank them to start?

Okay, neither do I. But I’ll bet a lot of you remember a time before cars were mostly computers. On my first car, the starter was about the only thing electric, let alone electronic. On my current car, you quite literally can’t operate it without the help of a little brain.  No, not that little brain.

If all the computer stuff in my car stopped working I’d not only be out my radio (excuse me, entertainment system), but I’d have no way of knowing my speed or how much fuel I had. I mean, I could get a dipstick, but don’t we have enough dispsticks on the roads? My car’s abilities are awesome, but also scary to a science fiction fan like me.

So it should have come as no surprise when I got into the car awhile back and saw this:

Yeah, my car was installing updates. I kept waiting for it to restart all by itself.

And how do I know what new program was loading? Cylon? Terminator? Didn’t Stephen King write a whole story about this? Someday I may not be able to escape from my Escape. It’s the carpocalypse.

I suppose the survivors will have to go back to the crank start.

Mark R Hunter

Mark R Hunter is the author of three romantic comedies: Radio Red, Storm Chaser, and its sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant, as well as a related story collection, Storm Chaser Shorts. He also wrote a young adult adventure, The No-Campfire Girls, and a humor collection, Slightly Off the Mark. In addition, he collaborated with his wife, Emily, on the history books Images of America: Albion and Noble County, Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century or So With The Albion Fire Department, and Hoosier Hysterical. Mark’s work also appeared in the anthologies My Funny Valentine and Strange Portals: Ink Slingers’ Fantasy/Horror Anthology. For two decades Mark R Hunter has been an emergency dispatcher for the Noble County Sheriff Department. He’s served over 32 years as a volunteer for the Albion Fire Department, holding such positions as safety officer, training officer, secretary, and public information officer. He also has done public relations writing for the Noble County Relay For Life, among other organizations, and served two terms on the Albion Town Council. When asked if he has any free time, he laughs hysterically. Mark lives in Albion, Indiana, with his wife and editor Emily, a cowardly ball python named Lucius, and a loving, scary dog named Beowulf. He has two daughters and twin grandsons, and so naturally is considering writing a children’s book.

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7 Responses to Booting Up the Carpocalypse

  1. Bill Y "The Legendary Legend" Ledden
    February 17, 2019 at 10:43 am

    It would have been a whole lot worse if it said “NSYNC”.

  2. February 10, 2019 at 5:31 pm


    • February 13, 2019 at 2:38 am

      That’s what I said!

  3. February 10, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    So funny Mark!

    • February 13, 2019 at 2:39 am

      It’s only funny because the car let me out!

  4. Jim Nolan
    February 10, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    Ha! Great piece, Mark. I hope you will always be able to “escape from your Escape.”

    • February 13, 2019 at 2:40 am

      It let me out that time … but from then on whenever I drove anywhere I brought along some food and water, just in case.

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