Holy Criminal Clothing, Batman!

While streaming late one night, I found the old Batman series with Adam West and Burt Ward.  I know the show is campy, but I have to say I was intrigued by one major aspect of the series: archvillain gang uniforms—specifically, for the episode I watched—Catwoman uniforms. I am not even going to address why the cat-crazy gang leader dressed in skin-tight clothes and nine-inch heels. She was the boss, so she could do whatever she wanted. However, I do have serious questions about those who served her:

How did Catwoman convince “gang members” to wear uniforms?

Call me naïve, but I thought criminals want to stay UNDER police radar. How is that possible when Catwoman’s entire gang was dressed in gold and black-striped velour tops with matching bandanas, and cat-ear hats?  I would think one person in this outfit in Gotham City might not have received a second glance, but eight or ten bad guys wearing this identical ensemble were just begging to be noticed.

Where did Catwoman find these guys?

Was there a trade paper for  bad guys willing to don this wardrobe for a stake in whatever evil plan the feline felon hoped to hatch? Did Catwoman have a computer like Batman’s punch-card computer that displayed names and addresses of potential ne’er-do-wells who shared her obsession with cats and would dress like freaks to prove it?  Batman was so ahead of the tech curve, but maybe Catwoman also knew a thing or two about databases?

Where did the gang members get their uniforms?

Was there a specialty shop set up just for the criminal element?  Why not? Police, fire and nurses all have uniform stores so why not archvillain gang members?  Maybe, there were underground retailers who served their evil purpose or perhaps their shopping was more out in the open. Maybe they went to a secret room of their local catholic school uniform store to get their required garb. There, they could do one-stop shopping and buy everything from uniform tops to hose and shoes—and maybe even a St. Jude pin to help them along in case they got arrested. 

Did Catwoman pay for her gang members’ wardrobes or did they foot the bill?

This is where her gang members might have benefited from a union negotiation for wardrobe reimbursements especially when there was  a good chance that if they ran into the Caped Crusaders, they might get POWed or BAMMed which might result in torn or ruined attire. And frankly, if these future felons got hired by a costumed archvillain instead of the run-of-the-mill  villain such as an embezzler or burglar, they would expect better perks such as wardrobe reimbursement and an expense account.

I know—the crook uniforms should not have bothered me, but they did. I guess what bothers me most is the cult mentality of the gang members who willingly gave up their tough thug evil façade to serve a woman with odd cat fantasies.  Call me a gang purist, but Hell’s Angels is looking pretty darn good with their simple denim vests.


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9 thoughts on “Holy Criminal Clothing, Batman!”

  1. I suspect a lot of Gotham City’s minions were willing to try anything after they fled Metropolis. Sure, Batman is scary, but he can’t melt you with his EYES.

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