COOL VANILLA LATTE
2 cups coffee, cold
⅔ cup sugar
4 cups milk
2 tablespoons vanilla syrup
covered pitcher or mason jars equal to 7½ cups
Serves 6. Takes 10 minutes.
Note: You can make other Cool Latte flavors by changing the syrup flavor, caramel for example.
Add all ingredients to large mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until sugar dissolves. Keep refrigerated.
1) You should make this. It’s so tasty and simple to put together. It’s also economical. I figure using the ingredients I bought that it cost me 4¢ an ounce while the major brands’ versions run 18¢ to 25¢. Making your own tuna sandwich with tuna and mayonnaise is also easy and much cheaper than buying premade ones in the deli. There are many other instances where making your own is cheaper and more satisfying than purchasing processed foods and drinks.
2) Now, suppose your neighbor is a complete oaf who blasts his music all night and says all sorts of hurtful things. You’d like to make him stop, but he’s much taller and stronger than you. What to do?
3) The first thing that naturally comes to mind is to get a AH-64e v6 Apache attack helicopter. According to Boeing’s website, “AH-64E v6 is a lethal, survivable and agile system providing the reach, maneuverability and performance needed by ground forces and contributes to current and future joint mission success.” Just what you need for dealing with that next-door brute.
4) And since I convinced you with the first tidbit to make your own things, you’re going to give building a AH-64e a go. Good for you! Unfortunately, it takes quite a lot of time–much longer than mixing up a Cool Vanilla Latte. Thus, you’re really unlikely to get your chopper up and flying before a dying and rapidly expanding Sun overwhelms the Earth. Especially if you’re unskilled in electronics. No, if you really wish to achieve overwhelming air supremacy over the beastly neighbor, you need to raid your savings account or look under sofa cushions and buy a $130 million AH-64E v6. If that price is too steep for you, wait for Labor Day sales or settle for a v5.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.