Me and Jim the Wonder Dog
A trip back to my boyhood home in Missouri presents me with an opportunity to visit with Jim the Wonder Dog, the most famous native of my hometown with the possible exceptions of Dale Carnegie […]
Author: Con Chapman
I'm a Boston-area writer, author of The Year of the Gerbil, a history of the 1978 Red Sox-Yankees pennant race, and 50 books of humor including "Scooter & Skipper Blow Things Up!" by HumorOutcasts Press. My work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor and The Boston Globe among print outlets. "Rabbit's Blues," my biography of Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington's long-time alto sax player, was published by Oxford University Press in 2019, and was named Book of the Year by Hot Club de France. My young adult novel, "Kimiko Chou, Girl Samurai," was published by Atmosphere Press in 2021.
The Grade School Fixer
Like many citizens of the over-regulated nation that America has become, I didn’t even realize I was a criminal until after I’d read the law. My third grade teacher gave everybody a little pamphlet entitled […]
Freedonia Goes Off Weasel Standard, Roiling Currency Markets
NGORZSKL, Freedonia. The Freedonian Bourski, the central bank of this land-locked European country, announced Friday that it will no longer back the flemux, the official currency, with weasels for the first time since the nation […]
Your Food Freshness Safety Advisor
Have a question about a multi-colored piece of cheese in the fridge? Stomach rumbling from a heaping helping of leftover tuna noodle casserole? Before you head for the bathroom, ask Your Food Freshness Safety Advisor […]
Thomas Freeb, Antacid Rock Bassist, Dead at 71
SEPULVEDA, California. Thomas “Tom” Freeb, bass guitar player for My Unicorn’s Knightmare, an antacid rock band of the 60′s, died yesterday of complications from adenoid surgery. He was 71. Tom and Tim Freeb with guitars in […]
Lawyers Without Borders Bring Aid, Strife to Third World
MALCZW, Freedonia. In this land-locked, vowel-starved country, many residents have never even seen a lawyer, much less retained one. “It is both a blessing and a curse,” says tribal chieftain Mzrz Glzorp. “We do not […]
For Top Banker, Lucite Doo-Hickeys Made it All Worthwhile
NEW YORK. For Fred Hollingsworth, an investment banker whose four-and-a-half-decade career will come to an end tonight at a farewell dinner that will be attended by scores of colleagues, it was never about the money. […]
I Am the Cheap Man
It happened Saturday night, as it has before. My wife and I had taken our seats at a nice restaurant, and the waiter asked if we’d like to order drinks. My wife asked for a glass […]
Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Writers
With apologies to Waylon Jennings, not that he needs them. They’re hard to love and even harder to hold. They’ll give you a poem instead of diamonds or gold, Hardcover Gatsby or even an old […]
The Sylvia Plath Foreclosure Sale
I grew up surrounded by females. My dad owned a women’s clothing store. Both of my sisters were girls, and my mom was a woman. We had two female cats whose names–Big Kitty and Baby […]