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Author: Mike Morris

I'm a retired professor of psychology (University of New Haven). I publish the satirical blog UNIVERSITY LIFE and actually look like the default profile picture that accompanies my posts on HumorOutcasts.

Trump, Putin Conclude Negotiations: Russia Will Absorb Alaska and Ukraine; Ukrainians Will Relocate to Gaza; Trump Will Keep Melania

August 11, 2025 Mike Morris

In what President Donald J. Trump has proclaimed to be “the most successful negotiation in the history of negotiations,” he and Vladimir Putin reached an agreement on Sunday that successfully resolved the conflicts in both […]

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Fiction

Trump Orders New York Times to Use “Negro” When Referring to Black People

July 23, 2025 Mike Morris

On the heels of his recent demand that Washington’s NFL team once again be called the “Redskins,” President Donald J. Trump issued an Executive Order on Tuesday, stipulating that The New York Times must use […]

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Fiction

Trump Claims that U. S. Air Strikes Have Obliterated All of Iran’s Microwave Ovens

June 26, 2025 Mike Morris

“The world no longer needs to fear Iran,” announced President Donald J. Trump at a Wednesday press conference.  “The B-2 bombers we deployed on Sunday destroyed virtually every microwave oven in that wretched dustbin of […]

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Fiction

AMC Theatres Will Offer Cocaine as a Low-Cost Alternative to Popcorn

June 17, 2025 Mike Morris

Beginning in August, AMC moviegoers across the country will be able to purchase 0.1-gram packets of premium cocaine — dubbed “Sniffties” — for $4 each.  This is less than half of what the national chain […]

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1 CommentFiction

Trump Threatens Nuclear Response to L. A. Protests

June 11, 2025 Mike Morris

Holding a bright red smartphone above his head in the Oval Office, President Donald J. Trump announced on Tuesday afternoon that he’s “on the verge of throwing some atomic whoop-ass at the city of Los […]

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Fiction

Musk/Trump Divorce Settlement Provides for Shared Custody of Musk’s 14 Children

June 8, 2025 Mike Morris

In a decision worthy of King Solomon, the judge in the highly publicized Musk/Trump divorce case has declared that each party, on a rotating basis, will serve as the primary caretaker of 7 of Musk’s […]

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Fiction

Harvard Defies Government Order to Close All of its Restrooms

May 25, 2025 Mike Morris

The bowels and bladders of the Harvard community have become the latest target in Donald J. Trump’s war against higher education.  On Friday, Education Secretary Linda McMahon declared that “Harvard must immediately shut down every […]

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Fiction

Pope Leo XIV Enters Ecclesiastical Transfer Portal, Signs with The Episcopal Church for $114.8 Million

May 12, 2025 Mike Morris

Catholics around the world were stunned on Sunday when sports super-agent Scott Boras announced that his newest client, Pope Leo XIV, had used the Ecclesiastical Transfer Portal to move from the Roman Catholic Church to […]

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Fiction

Trump Imposes Tariff on All American Babies Conceived Outside of the U. S.

May 6, 2025 Mike Morris

Life is about to get complicated for U. S. citizens who have sex while they’re out of the country.  Beginning July 1st, American parents will have to pay a $3500 tariff for any offspring they […]

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Fiction

With Francis Dead, Trump Installs Himself as Pope

April 22, 2025 Mike Morris

“It’s the least I could do,” President Donald J. Trump told reporters on Monday after he appointed himself Interim Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.  “Pope Francis died shortly after meeting with JD Vance, who’s […]

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Fiction

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