At a Theatre Near You
, and I’m inventing a new movie genre combining comedy and drama, and it’s called the Comma, because the goal is to leave you unsatisfied, wanting more, as if there’s other important stuff to […]
Author: PFHardie
I am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that's only during the day. At night I fight crime and hang out with my wonderful family.
Uber Everywhere
Uber Losers: When someone tells you you’ll never get anywhere – call me. I’ll take you somewhere. Uber Uber: For Uber drivers who are too tired, drunk or hung over to drive – I’ll tow you […]
Travel Lag
Jet lag. When you arrive at your destination looking and feeling like the masticated salisbury steak you ditched on the plane. Why doesn’t anyone complain about car lag? I once drove to California and the […]
Carry On Canada
World Headlines for 2016 Turkey arrests 9,000 military personnel after failed coup, considers death penalty U.S. wrestles with Lucifer or God as their leader Will Britain survive as a country post-Brexit? NATO keeps a suspicious […]
The Flip Side of Flops
People who know me say, “Paul, you are soooo open-minded.” And it’s true. It used to be open 24/7 but as it gets older, I now close it on Friday afternoons and while drinking. Even […]
Going Through a Phrase
What’s with the phrase “putting toothpaste back in the tube”. People use it to refer to something that is very difficult or impossible to do. “Reversing Brexit? That’s like putting toothpaste back in the tube.” […]
Neighbourhood Watch
There is no shortage of people seeking to organize a seemingly random and impersonal universe into meaningful patterns. Consider Fred Rogers (aka Mr. Rogers). Fred weighed himself one day and found the magic number […]
The Biotic Man
I ate some probiotics while I was on antibiotics. There’s a protest in my stomach: probiotics on the right, antibiotics on the left. All was peaceful until my infection, unsurprisingly, sided with the pros. The […]
Broken News
CNN uses the “Breaking News” mantra way too often. When a newsy event happens, or “breaks”, it only happens once. BREAKING NEWS: Terrorists Strike in Iraq Twenty four hours later, you can’t keep calling that event “Breaking News” […]
Going Postal
The Canadian postal workers are going on strike. Negotiations broke down when the string between the tin cans they were communicating with abruptly snapped. Management suggested switching to smoke signals. Unfortunately, wind garbled the messages. […]